What A Poor Pharmacist

Thursday, April 28, 2005

3 STAGES OF AN EPILEPTIC AURA

Stage 1
Early stages of the aura are triggered by many factors, which vary from individual to individual. For myself, the factors include flashing lights (stroboscopes); loud, deep sounds; mental stress due to a good day's thinking, and physical exertion among the rest. Also, stimulation of the nervous system, e.g. by headaches and stomach aches, will also initiate the aura.

Basically the effects of this stage of aura are slight and can be controlled by biofeedback and relaxation techniques. I will experience a flashing sensation that seems always to stem from the upper left hand corner of my field of vision. Other disturbances and aches remain mild. Voluntary movement is still achievable. This is the time when i stop all activities and try to "reverse" the aura.

Stage 2
As more input reaches the site of the CNS damage (i.e. the scar in my case), the aura intensifies i guess. It begins to get "stuffy", and the thought that you might lose the "struggle" to reverse the aura sets in. As a result, heart rate rises. Hyperventilation may occur. Breathing becomes more laboured. Voluntary movements become rarer and more hard to control. Calls for help. Probably lying in the recovery position. Stiff headaches as the aura intensifies. It is very hard to get back to Stage 1; requires lots of time for recovery.

Stage 3
The final stage before the seizure, once the aura reaches this stage it is almost impossible to control. Everything in Stage 2 intensifies to greater depths, and in the later stages the patient having the seizure may lose consciousness. Starts to bite his tongue, make incomprehensible noises, grunts, may salivate. Body starts shaking uncontrollably.

Seizure
Patient blacks out. This stage must not last very long, otherwise the patient will experience status epilepticus, which... leads to some kind of brain damage due to overutilisation of oxygen by the body muscles and the subsequent deprivation of oxygen to the brain, causing death of neurons.
Other than that, he may sustain mechanical injury to his body due to falling down if not previously in a supine position. People around him should 1) immediately call an ambulance; 2) make sure that he does not sustain any further injury. Biting of the tongue is common and is okay; just make sure he does not choke on his saliva. Do not force any object into the mouth.

Post-seizure
Once consciousness returns, patient does not remember anything that happened during the seizure stage. For myself, a severe, persistent headache accompanies the sore muscles that were overworked during the seizure. Muscles ache as if an extremely strenous exercise was carried out. Everything becomes crystal clear, as if the body had returned to the state it was before the seizure, except for the ^&*( headache. Vomitting may ease the "build-up", generally a feeling of bloatedness that may manifest other than the headache. This speeds up the recovery process. It is hardly that a second seizure will occur during this period.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
9:56 pm

ORD OFF!

Went back to camp today as usual. Went to e-mart, bought a pair of New Balance sneakers for $32++... the cheapest sneakers in anywhere of singapore. But good. Spent the last $42 on socks. Bought 1 green pair for Clement and 2 black pairs and 9 white pairs for myself. Haha... enough socks to last me for whole uni, all thanks to SAF. Good.eh? too bad i can't get a size for the new no. 3 shoes, which are damn nice.

then in the afternoon my superior (senior medic) gave me ORD off!!! 'twas like, everybody was just lazing around with nothing to do, some dudes were going for afternoon off, and he stepped up to me and "hey yan dao eh! why don't you go for off!" and then the off pass was writ and i left.

.... haiz... now what? off till next tuesday.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
9:25 pm

BACK TO CAMP

went back to mandai hill camp today. objectives: 1) to visit the boys, 2) try to get my clearance done and 3) get yong geng to bring his copy of Blink so that i could zap the entire book. Damn slack, as usual.
early morning after the first few patients have been registered, we trooped up to canteen for a breakfast. Havent woke up so early for days on end, but not sleepy at all. Guess i will be after today, typing this at 1am. About 10am, the signing clearance operation commenced, first stop was QM dept. The guys were okay, but i'd rather have my clerk friend Alvin there around to make things easier. Then came the clerical dudes from CCO. They were a bit more.... uncooperative. Said will have to wait till the last day to sign clearance. Well, hopefully on the last day they better get all their asses in the office for my signatures. Can't blame them, oppressed people working for a f***d up boss.
some dudes were asking me, "so are u ORDing today?" to which i answered in the negative. How i wish it was the other way, though. After signing clearance i returned to the medical centre about 11:30 am and there was nothing to do at all. So i hid in the medic lounge and watched Tian Long Ba Bu until about 4pm. Came out then and read Clement's novel about World War II, it was good stuff.

The counter still stands at 04 working days left...

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
1:30 am

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

INTERVIEW

today went to the Health Promotion Board for interview with this lady called yi ping as arranged by lisa (my ex-tuition student). first sight: very nice environment, polished marble tile floor, a/c room... something like a hospital. Cool. The venue was the Child Guidance Centre, an affiliation of IMH, which means... they deal with kids with psychiatric problems (?). So probably can't write much here.
Anyway, the job was about interviewing parents according to this survey about children, basically i just rattle on the questions and the parent just say yes or no, or something. Pay's quite attractive - $20 per interview - but what an interview! Nonstop talking for at least an hour, normally 1.5 h. I tried an interview out with an "upperstudy" today (for real) and we took turns to interview the parent, but it was like my tongue got twisted hell lotsa times... Didn't even know sometimes what the question meant, just read it off the screen anyway. Huff... need water, man. Guess after this my oral can score distinctions.
Hope i can earn some good cash from this... owned my parents $1100 already + the new nokia 3230 (about $300). Hope can stop asking for cash until june (when the job ends).
No luck with the nokia 3230 too. Hell lot of functions, about 1/2 i can't use or dun need it, about 1/4 i have yet to figure out. the keypad is bearable, but like the iriver mp3 player, it uses buttons for multiple purposes. dunno la. all these new-fangled phone stuff. give me a keyboard anytime, man. just installed the ringtones... all final fantasy themes. comes with radio and mp3 player, camera, picture editing, calendar, to-do list, blah blah blah.
haiz~ shall i buy a $6 cloth covering for the phone or a Crumpler to go with it? then look like SBO.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
11:12 pm

Thursday, April 21, 2005

TUITION @ SAC

Today was the first day of tuition at the SAC (Student Advisory Centre). Despite its name, it offers protection to a more... infamous? clientlete. (?) Was set up by some dude to offer advice to deliquents, like those run-away-from-home cases, gangsters-who-don't-think-schooling-is-cool cases etc etc that keep hitting the newspapers. That's what i heard from the dudes there.

Anyway, this work is purely (somewhat) voluntary, means not much moolah from this i will expect. So i expect some dude or gal from those imporverished families so common in the 60s and 70s who have like, enough money per day to buy one plate of chicken rice for a 8-member family. Or some ah beng / ah lian stereotype with tattoos for graffiti and piercings. Or some sons and daughters of drug addicts or hardcore gamblers. Membership is $2 per month thats what i heard.

So i was like, "what the hell is my tutee gonna be like?" when i entered the room. Contrary to the descriptions in para2, this guy was a Sec 1 kid called Palmer (the fat ass in FF7???), a well-spoken and receptive dude who'd probably looked a bit too docile. And he was from ACS (I). Hell!!! its like he can afford the school, then why did he pay to come here? cheap tuition? hmm.

Anyway, damn stunned when he whipped out his "textbook", a Life Sciences book.... first 3 chapters were.... Microbes???? wtf??? looks like JC or uni stuff man... even got Gram+ and Gram- bacteria. Cocci and other stuff... all i could do is tell him how to memorise the stuff... you know all the mindmap stuff and that... cos he was still relying on reading the paragraphs 10 times to digest it. ACS (I) is damn crazy. And he says he's gonna do something with the bacteria "next lab lesson". Damn, i hated the JC lectures about the genetic engineering.

All this for a %^&* $5/lesson? wah...................................... and i dunno where the money's coming from man....

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
10:34 pm

CYCLING @ EAST COAST

Today went cycling at east coast. Late as usual, by 15 min. Saw minimal people on the park. Most of the people there were chiobus (?) decked out in bikinis and cool dudes with washboards, secondary and pri sch children in their PT kits and uniforms, some NSmen, the odd fisherboy, etc... Of coz most interesting were the chiobus... most of them could well be beach gals...

Ok got the bikes. Listened to a semi-impressive lecture by Leonard about the L-R gears (L: 1-3, R:1-7) which i catch no ball, but set the gears anyway to L2 R6. Then we cycled east, pausing for a breather at Bedok Jetty, then further east until the end (some country club) until the bicycle track ran out. Perfect all the way - no falls; even at the "accident zones" that i usually panicked (and fell, cos the track ran to about 2/3 the breadth of the usual). Pretty not bad for someone who's on his sixth? seventh? time cycling.

Then came the way back. Past the narrow jogging tracks, Bedok Jetty, past the narrow tracks. No mishap... then came the turn along this forested area very close to the bicycle store. It was a right-angle turn. 90 degrees. Usually the turn would be gentle, probably <10>

Anyway, enough of the physics, thing is i have reduced reaction time, cos 1) i am hell tired. and 2) i am hell tired. i get tired easily cos the whole damn thing i was so damn nervous!!! imagine being nervous for 1 hour... you will know. i call it overworking the sympathetic system. So, anyway, i didn't see the bend in time... was going too fast and didn't slow down; i just tried to turn like Leo and WS. Which means slamming my steering damn far left = destablising the bike = immenent fall. So, emergency brake. The next few milliseconds were in a daze as i found myself amongst the grass, with my back region (hip bone), my foot and right achielles heel and right palm hurting like hell.

Can't stand also (legs have turned into jelly). So hollered for Leonard and WS for help. Unbelievably, after that incident, we cycled back to the bicycle shop (at low speed), past that, and to the other end where you can see the ECP. And back to the bicycle shop where we ditched the bikes. And of course, i couldn't stand after that.

Even after our breather at McDonalds half an hour later, i was still hyperventilating. The pain in the lower back is still there. As i type this.... it is still there. Sustained some lacerations and bruises on the hands (the bruises due to the handlebars). Ass hurts too... probably of sitting on that pitifully small seat for 2h. Yeah other than all those nothing much, i am lucky. Probably result of wearing jeans. No endorphins though.

Maybe tomorrow, i shall go to the polyclinic. *sighs*

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
10:02 pm

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

The long tale of HOW WAISENG AND LEONARD WAS PANGSEH BY ME AT MARSILING SWIMMING POOL

As the title goes, this is a very tragic story about how a guy who wanted to swim ended up sleeping instead.
And as anyone would probably guess, that guy is me.
Why?
Here's the story: yesterday my sec sch friend wang (his surname) came to my house and played medal of honor: pacific assault. Before that i was playing the comp, and for those who played M.O.H: P.A. would know that if you turn on the sound, you will hear a loud cacophony of American soldiers in 1942 shouting out commands + machine gun fire + enemy fire = the noise was deafening. So loud that after wang left, i felt abit heady (~ shell shocked). Went to sleep at 1830 hours after deciding that i could not make it (i.e. before my aura comes up)
Then, at 2000 hours, i woke up, probably i was hungry. Ate dinner and watched the first episode of the 2100 show, it was good to see Fann Wong again (she's aging quite gracefully). About 2230 hours, i went to bed; as usual, it wasn't easy falling asleep; probably after 2300 did i hit cold. Before going to sleep, i smsed Waiseng and told Leonard on MSN, how about a swim at Marsiling, dudes.
Then here comes the damnening part. Woke up at 0325 to piss!! then couldn't get back to sleep... did the tango, cha cha, samba, hip hop, swing lying down on my bed. Heard the first bus (i live very near Jurong East MRT interchange) getting steam at about 0430. Then heard the rumbling of the first train at 0500. Still won't give up... until about 0525 then i "ah, fuck!!!" turned off the a/c and got out of bed, totally hot and sleepless. Ate breakfast. Checked my hp. Discovered that ws said that it was clementi, last night. Damn, must tell him that it's marsiling pool. Smsed him at 0600. Still cannot sleep. 0720: sien diao, got on the PC and played an hour of MOHPA before climbing back into bed at 0830. Damn tired then, so in about half an hour fell asleep.
Woke up at 1330, some record. Sleep rhythm totally disorientated. Received ws' message, "the weather is sunny, 11am at marsiling"
Called them to find out that they've finished swimming. Oh, shit....

Today, i resolve to sleep at 2230, AND not to drink so much water. Haiz....

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
7:51 pm

Monday, April 18, 2005

MUGGING = ROBBERY

A few weeks ago i was still considering mugging as a top option to deflate the boredom that i would expect for my pre-ORD period (i.e. up to 5/5/5) and if i'm still jobless, my post-ORD period. Started hitting the library for ideas (but basically to "feel" the library atmosphere and to check out the uni girls, ahem, undergrads).
Edwin and Waiseng are using this time (up to 5/5/5 and who knows when) to get the most out of their PCs and PS2s, i think. Basically i'm not into playing games cause 1) they're not very available (have to pay an "agent" to get them from somewhere, ahem) and 2) i'm losing skill and interest in them. So sorry, Mr. Agent, if you're reading this. Contrary to what they say in the papers about guys having more interest in games.
But, recently, my interest in mugging has waned dramatically, for the obvious reason: what the hell to mug?? The stuff that i was mugging a few weeks back was, to my utter surprise, to be studied in Years 2-3. Hell, as what my old folks would say, "to fly before you run and walk????" And although i can boast about the 15-20 letter words, i hardly understand some of the other content... whenever i read the paragraphs it seems like there would be something that i ought to know that i don't, which sucks. Its like i've heard of drug names like propanolol and atropine from my experience in the medical centre, but to understand them fully, it's beyond my present power.
So Yew sen, don't put your hopes too high...
So i further checked out the pharm syllabus. Hmm seems easy, 6 mods in the first year. God knows the horror beneath these words? Have to ask someone about them - shall chance upon their study breaks to do so. Heh heh.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
11:53 am

RE: THE GRIM ROADSTER (ST Lifestyle, 17 April 2005)

I saw the abovementioned article yesterday. It tried to highlight, the number of fatalities due to road accidents in Singapore. With particular mention was to one guy - a 20 year old national serviceman who died on his way back to his home in Teck Whye - according to the paper, he fell off his bike and was run over by another vehicle.
What astonished me was the fact that he "had been a student at River Valley High School and National Junior College. He had his whole life ahead of him." I was downright shocked. He was someone close - at least we shared the fact that we studied in the same JC for 2 years. Heck, i'd have probably seen him around during JC years. Maybe even said hi. And now, he was gone.

It seems like whenever i see this kind of thing - people passing away before their time - i feel quite sad. For the dead person, who would never got to see the next part of his life; for his parents and relatives, who would have to cope with their sudden unexpected loss, a loss which they would have to bear sorrow to the rest of their lives. And for his friends, who could only mentally re-live the memories they shared. For them, it feels like a part of themselves has been suddenly erased, gone forever.

I may or may not be a friend or even acquaintance of this guy. But fate has it that we have been close, and yet i chose to believe, by that similar fate his life has prematurely ended. Here I offer my silent prayers, and utmost sympathy for his family and friends. May God bless them.

Also i wish to ask all motorists and future motorists to exercise caution on the road. As the author of the ST article puts it, "Make every rider and everyone beind a wheel slow down. Make us stop, stare and, hopefully, save lives."

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
11:09 am

Friday, April 15, 2005

today... did nothing. As usual.

There are some dudes who are stuck behind barbed wire with the red sign "Tempat Larangan!" (place forbidden!) that would commit offenses cupable of landing in prison just to say these words (and incredibly, they do).

Played computer games, eat. played computer games. eat... wanted to go swim with waiseng and edwin at clementi, but the clouds threatened to rain... damn. There goes my chance for exercise this week.

Oh yeah. The SAC (Student Advisory Centre) called me at last, to teach a Sec 1 kid Science. For free, in the name of volunteering. Hope it's fun. Lessons should have started since the beginning of this year, January, and the time period is expected to be 6 mths, which will end at July. Since it just started NOW, it means it will have to drag until December. Hope it doesn't do anything to my uni schedule.

Hey it's like, i believe in giving something back to the society, and since i have lotsa time to kill and no job but enough food, so why not? I believe that i survived the brain operation in 1999 for a purpose.. and that is to help other people or something like that. So, the choice of course for medicine and pharmacy.

And... the greatest joy that can never be bought is a smile from the heart... a true smile that i hope i can see after people get well... like myself.

Ah. whatever.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
10:46 pm

Thursday, April 14, 2005

MEDICAL CHECKUP AT NUS

The date: 14th April. The Event: Checkup at NUS.

Woke up at 10:00 am today. Figured out the chords for Guang Liang's song Tong Hua (Fairy Tale). As usual, the I-V-VIm-IIIm-IV-IIIm-IIm-V7 pattern, descending. Typical for most of chinese pop songs. Anyway, the mtv showed this gal with some terminal illness in a hospital, and guang liang playing piano in a concert, he calls the gal, then plays the song, Tong Hua. Then at the end of the song she dies...
Quite touching, in fact... i almost cried...

Anyway, back to the subject: went to NUS today with Edwin. Saw Leonard Loh, the dude in 3rd year medicine. Quite cool, man, had a nice chat with him. Was also to keep the buggers from Raffles Hall advertising their camp or wad from boring the two of us. Other than that, they were quite helpful, offering us the direction of the medical centre. Guess i'm still not too receptive to external media, huh? Saw more of them including a few friends of Edwin's... oh and also a few fabulous gals along the way, haha... however quickly siam cos they're promoting some Hall stuff as well.

The medical checkup was faster than i expected, and less painful. Something like the one at CMC, except no hypocount (punch your finger for blood) and public stripping, both i hated (haha). No pai kia to intimidate you when he sits next to you, both near-naked. And of course, lotsa chio bus to make the wait shorter... haha. Poor angels. The checkup consists of: W/H, visual acuity, colour blindness, urine dipstick analysis, checkup by GP, then chest x-ray. Something like what i do (actually help coordinate) to the NSmen that come in droves to Mandai Hill Medical Centre, haha.... but hey, we're all NSmen here isn't it... Only funny part was the x-ray, where we had to "hold your breath!" and i "huhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" ed, then the radiographer said, "wait ah, wait ah..." and i was still holding my breath.... ughhhhh......

Thought i would see some of my future female coursemates here.... what a pity i didn't... saw alot of guys from Law instead.... *sighs*

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
9:31 pm

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

OTHER PEOPLE'S BLOGS

Just looked at Edwin's blog... he updates it everyday... so he plays DOTA?? quite unlike him, though. Edwinnie, i have a couple of dudes who are damn pro at DOTA (online), u may wanna get some pointers. Like those dudes who keep doing "Triple Kill" and "GODLIKE!!!!!"

Basically the idea of DOTA is inflicting as much damage on heroes, not the creeps, god damn the creeps, they're not worth much. And the dude who can do this is the Stealth Assassin. Strategy: try to stun a couple of guys and then Ward them, triple kill. I cringe with fear whenever some dude uses it and he's on the other camp; damn the only panacea you have is the Gem of Trueseeing, which costs 750 gold and sucks. Haha bet u din't know that. Oh, u did?

Ok, the subject is other people's blogs: on winnie's blog i discovered a plethora (?) of blogs that belong to people i mostly know, e.g. the class. And i thought that his blog was damn nice, with all the clipboards, floating letters and stuff.. then i clicked on some links, wow. Seems like university students have damn nice blogs, some even incorporate Flashes or nice pictures into it (probably why it took so long to load). Seems like there's a Module on doing blogs or something? Damn, even like nowadays they need to learn MIDI! oh gosh....

plan for the next few days: not going to the library again, wun know what i'm gonna study anyway, god i better take Bengli's advice and enjoy myself while i can. Looked at the syllabus: gonna spend 1 sem studying Physiology? OMG. Shack subj. The 14th: go with edwin to NUS for checkups. The rest of the week: find jobs or play computer. There's nothing to play except Grandia II, FF7 and FF8, even SoF2 is kinda suck. Oh well there's still MOH: Pacific Assault. Hope somebody will call me out man...

The 22th: gonna get my MIDI keyboard back from Mel. Better start thinking of some songs...

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
11:33 pm

INTERVIEWS... INTERVIEWS

woke up at 11 today, a bit too late... then mum told me about this Popular bookshop interview at JE. Thought would get the interview done (20min), run an errand (10min) and figure how to get to macrichitie reservoir to meet leo and waiseng at 1430. left house at 1330 after trying in vain to find some cap.

first, the errand... cpf building... took longer than expected but still by 1350 could get out.. arrggh could get the stuff on the Net anyway. then the interview... filled in the form in 5 min, waited. 1400. SMSes from leo, by that time i was prepared to ditch the interview... but the prospects of the job were quite good... so persevere.....

1430. 1500. 1530. wait, wait wait.... halfway through people started to get fed up and started leaving... most of them were aunties and uncles in their 30s-50s. some had envelopes (bearing their qualifications), i had none. then i had this thought around the end of 1600: the chance of having a job is soooooooo low:

- i am applying for a job for O'level applicants. I am an A level graduate
- i am going to hold the post, a retail assistant in a secondary school bookshop, for only max 4 mths, afterwards which i am gonna migrate to university to seek greener pastures, and screw them up, cos they're gonna spend manpower to get some fella who can stay longer again.
- i have no experience in the retail business.
- they have only 4 positions (4 sec schs). And 30 over applicants, some who looked as though they needed the job badly, and others, looked as though they could single-handedly handle a Popular bookstore for 10 years.
- there was some girl who cut queue by making some noise saying that "XXX called me to get an interview here," and expects some VIP treatment like God cutting a swath through the Red Sea. Then she called this XXX, so appeared was her mum and then she was ushered in... wtf!!!!
- i got epilepsy (declared). this probably multiplies the probability by 0.3.
- there were 21 applicants, and the interviewer must be damn shack. which means:

all these reasons made me quit the interview at circa 1600 hours... left and joined wang and hanyi at chevrons... yeah, bad choice man. why wait so long and give up....? anyway the whole damn thing was a bad choice....

damn shack after two successive days of interviews. maybe i'll consult the classified tomorrow.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
10:12 pm

Friday, April 08, 2005

Read her blog today - just Googled her email.

Had a rush of adrenaline in the upper CNS. Got more than what i bargained for.

Felt damn sad. More sad than i could ever be, i wish i could cry.

But no tears.

....

Will i be able to forget her? Those emotions?

Leave me alone, folks.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
5:50 pm

THE LAW OF MIRACLES

Behold, the law of miracles:

The law of miracles states that any miracle will come true as long as enough time is given or allocated for it to do so.
The duration of time t that is required will increase with the probability P of the miracle coming true.

i.e. any miracle (defined as some event that has a probability of <0.01%>

This can be exemplified by the following hypothetical situations:
1. Getting 4 As for A level may seem like a miracle if the student only spends 2 years studying A levels. However, with enough years of practice ( ~ 10-20 ), the probability of doing so may increase up by 4- 5 times, maybe even high enough to reach 80-90%.

2. Slimming down may seem impossible for people who are grossly obese. However, if he/she spends more time exercising, over a longer period of time, he/she can still slim down.

The above equation only works for miracles, i.e. event that has a low probability, but not zero probability. If in the above two examples, the student stops studying, or loses interest, or if the person in the second example stops exercising, P = 0% and the law does no longer hold true.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
12:05 am

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Sigh... the feeling of letting a good opportunity slip between your fingers...

went to yamaha today for an interview on the position, "clarinova* music teacher cum salesman". Basically you had to teach students (which will be enticed to join by cheap coupons), then during the course of the lessons hopefully the student will incur enough interest (not $$) to buy a clarinova, then bam!, the student buys a clarinova that costs anything from $1000-$2000 (the cheaper ones). Deal closed. With the purchase the student is sorta "enslaved" to attend regular Yamaha music lessons, which bam! ensures you that he/she sloth off another $100-$200 every month for the next ten years or so until Grade 8 is attained or you give up halfway, that's about $12000-$24000 per head in potential cash.... can't label it as the Yamaha tactic cos every dude whos teaching music does it this way... private or school... music, is an expensive hobby man.

*clarinova = digital piano with the yamaha label
**electone = digital organ (2-keyboard with pedals) with the yamaha label

thing is, the post is for clarinova teacher, but i only play electone**... apparently i couldn't get the electone teacher one cos my qualifications CMI... haha one grade short of making it... sigh~ but nvm. The keyboard of the clarinova is with tension, like a piano, whereas the electone keyboards are without (i.e. means you have to whack harder on the clarinova for every note). They call it "weighted", mainly because you can vary the force used by your fingers to whack the piano keys, to create loud and soft sounds. Also the reason why zhou jie lun plays the piano in "shi jie mo ri" he looks like he's applying shiatsu massage.

Thing is, i cannot play weighted keyboards... damn pain when i just slam the front part of the finger down man, esp the left pinkie.

Anyway, the job was not meant to be.... for the post i had to clock at least 25h/wk (with yet unknown salary) for a one year contract... and before that, i had to pass an audition first (need to practice on the piano on two modern pop pieces). Assume the monthly pay was $1000:
Amt of hours worked per wk: 25 x 4 = 100h
Rate: $1000 / 100h = $10/h.
But, tuition offers much higher rates like $15/h for upper sec! although u earn much less in total.
Also, leonard who was beside me all the time pointed out, gotta make time for what i term "unexpected activities":
Amount of hours per week = 24 x 7 = 168
Minus sleep and transport (10h/day) = 14 x 7 = 98 hours
Minus NUS time (40-60 h) = 38-58 hours
Homework and research (20-30 h) = 8-38 hours
So much for having a "life": on avg i got 22 hours of leisure per week.. and that's not counting "unexpected activities" e.g. projects, meetings, ...

The decision to terminate the audition was made on 18:05.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
9:13 pm

Monday, April 04, 2005

BACK TO CAMP

woke up at 6:14 am today... DAMN tired, swear my pupils were experiencing miosis all the while as i struggled to shampoo, shave.. etc etc. 7:55 am saw me back in Mandai Hill Camp Medical Centre.
Everything was, as i left it. The only difference was that the card scanners were up and running and that we cannot "da pao" packed lunches in the name of sickbay patients, which SUCKED. But never mind, some dude suggested that we photostat the barcodes on our camp pass and pass it to the guy collecting the lunches.
Staff-wise, everyone was abit surprised that I came back... greeted with gregarious "Hi"s - gave quite a warm scene. Met the new MO, quite a nice guy as well, but looks kinda garang with his shaven head. Not very fashionable, u know. Hope he clicks well with the guys. Did medical FFI as well. Most of the time was spent talking cock with people like Zul, Clement, Yong Geng. Hopefully they wouldn't miss me... (haha)
Came home and found myself locked out. Wanted to go library, but in sweaty smart 4, that so uncool. So cursed and cursed and cursed outside my doorstep. Next time, I'll learn lockpicking, which i should on account of me not bringing the keys for the umteenpth (?) time. Damn pissed
with myself. Went to the library about 7pm sharp and settled into Chapter 7: parasymptomimetics and parasymptolytics (whatever the f*k that meant).
It says that if you stimulate the sympathetic system and the parasympathetic system together, the effects cancel out (e.g. one is bronchoconstriction, one is bronchodilation). Also if u use a symptomimetic and a symptolytic, the effects cancel out too. So in effect to cause bronchodilation for e.g. there are two drugs that you can use. But which one and why? Maybe i'll quiz the MO tmr, if he looks kind enough to ans my qn.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
10:14 pm

Sunday, April 03, 2005

The sympathetic & unsympathetic nervous system

when to bryan's house yesterday and played ps2 + a harold and kumar goes to white castle movie. Also bryan did a nice hairdo for me, first time i actually used wax. Hmm, must ask the barber to thin my hair out. then headed over to wang's house to camp (overnight stay). Talked mostly about whether we're going clubbing, about getting girls in uni (as usual) and went to friendster to 'visit' some of our sec sch mates. Slept at 2am.

woke up at 10am today... left his house at 12pm, went to the library for awhile and yes! the book that i was searching for yesterday materialised at 515: Pharmacology. Spent the whole afternoon looking on drugs of the Sympathetic Nervous System, occassionally interrupted by the talk of a gaggle of gals beside me (heh) talking about censorship between singapore and vietnam "in vietnam if you say anything wrong you get thrown into jail. in singapore if you say anything wrong they fine u and you go into jail." so much for politics, i dun wanna get thrown into jail.

***

So let me talk about the nervous systems: we know that in the body there are two nervous systems, one is the Sympathetic Nervous System and one is the Unsympathetic Nervous System.
The Sympathetic nervous system is sympathetic to your actions, e.g. when you are running 5km in the hot sun it sympathizes with your tired body and tries to make you drop out. Individuals will experience a dry tongue, extreme breathlessness, high heart rate and heat radiating out from your body in all directions, also their muscles will decrease their rate of function and blah blah blah, with the effect that you drop out after one round. The sympathetic nervous system is not under conscious control.
Now, the unsympathetic nervous system does exactly the opposite: it ignores all forms of sympathy and forces you to go on. It is responsible for making you grit your teeth and exert your muscles more to achieve the desired effect, in this case, the continuation of running. It forces you to aspirate quickly, to gasp more of the much-needed oxygen gas that your muscles are in dire need of, as well as to swallow your saliva in order to lubricate your dried throat. It tells you "you can do it" and you really believe it. All this makes you think of yourself as some super athlete that has drunk 100 cans of Red Bull, and in due light of this finish the 5km. Adverse effects of using the unsympathetic nervous system is that you tend to bellow in loud noises words which are too vile to hear, e.g. after the 5km march.
And oh yes, the unsympathetic nervous system is completely voluntary and requires much effort to put to use. Frequent usage of the unsympathetic nervous system results in up-regulation; it takes less effort to fully stimulate the unsympathetic nervous system, from which it may resulting in the person becoming Totally Unsympathetic, i.e. a moron.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
4:31 pm

Friday, April 01, 2005

this is continuing from the previous entry...

ok i realised arial: small was too tiny for most eyes to see... so i went to get arial: normal size...

haha. ok, after waking up at 10:45 then i hung around the house and showered to go to library... wanted to reach there by 12pm but then due to my delaying and lunch i showed up at 1:15. guess how late i can get, man. got the Basic Pharmacology book (at last!) from the reference section but it was too easy... not as detailed as the one i was previously studying. There was a ang moh couple sitting about 2 tables away, they irritated me so damn much; the gal was talking with normal dynamics, probably mf, but the library was so quiet, it was like ff. Doesnt she know she's in a library? talking to her bf sitting opposite was really a pain (to me). Worse still she was reading a hardcover book, and kept slamming the front hard cover against the desk, making a "tok-tok-tok" sound that resonated amongst my "receptors and pharmacokinetics". Fucking hell.

then she left at 3pm, next came a jc2 gal and her bf. quite chio, but same irresponsible behaviour. kept pestering her bf (who was studying) for stuff like highlighter, liquid paper, stationery. Damn she was seducing the whole crew at the reference section by raising her legs to the next chair such that they formed a parallel with the ground (her legs were next to her bf's chair, for fuck? to smell??) haha

and she said she just received her a level timetable. hope u fail, bitch. ka nin nah. oh sorry

(damn, am i jealous or am i jealous??)

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
11:27 pm

The NKF show

woke up at 9am today... as usual. but felt damn sleepy so went to sleep again until 10:45... PIG

now... i'm watching the 9pm show on channel 8...

special mention to the role played by joanne peh... haha other than that she's cute and she looks like... haiz~
ok, now her character is skipping kidney dialysis, running away from the NKF centre when the nurses aren't looking, going to a 7-eleven to binge on potato chips and water (according to the show they cannot drink more than 500ml/day, probably due to osmotic considerations?) then the ah long boy-friend spots her and they somehow get to this parapet thing, with her eating chips and drinking water, and the ah long trying his best to comfort her, then dropping the bombshell "i'll donate one of my kidneys to my ah ma and one to you when i die"

reminds me of the time when i first got epilepsy: first conscious reaction: denial. In secondary school i was pretty ok, when things were still fine: i was still doing well in school, in the first class. but in jc, i was severely lacking behind, getting Es and Fs in the first year. And headaches... during lectures i had to quit the LT due to "disturbances". The "tantrums", as my dad calls it, followed. Pillows flew over the place. Up till today, i have been unable to judge for myself, whether this is normal behaviour.

Yes, i denied that i had epilepsy. For life. Which means i have to stay on a lifetime dosing regimen of antiepileptics for life. And antiepileptics, they all have adverse side effects... e.g. the drug that i'm taking now, carbamazepine, presents with diplopia (double vision), ADH (anti-diuretic hormone??) ataxia (walk like drunks), stomach problems, nystagmus and drowsiness and folate vitamin d deficiency (courtesy of Yew sen). Although i do not feel it now, maybe later? And... there's the initial compliance problem: sometimes i forget to take the medicine, be it the morning dose (after i wake up) or the 6pm dose.

And with diet, like in the show: there are stuff that i cannot take, for they are believed to cause convulsions, e.g. chocolate bar. coffee. mutton, beef. briyani. haiz~ yum yum but what to do? i think it has something to do with increasing the frequency of impusles upon the brain, so forget it la. Need enough sleep too: more than 5-6 hours in the night: or wake up with headaches and increased occurance of auras ("sensations"). No more burning of midnight oil. Also, no bright lights, and no flashing lights. No disco, no clubbing. Can't play music for too long either. Not too much camera flashing either.

In the light of all this, it seems bleak... Will i complete my degree? will i get a girlfriend who can tolerate my epilepsy, who can take care of a disabled? for life? I feel quite bad actually for asking my friends to take care of me - waiseng "eh, do CPR on me ok if i go down" and leonard. They could have found better friends. And her... maybe she left me because of... well, that's another story.

But as in the show, the nurse at the dialysis centre scolded joanne peh (fei fei) for running away from the dialysis centre. Feifei replied, "then put me off dialysis! the needles are so painful" or something. Then the nurse said, "what about your mother whos been crying for you?"

I still have good friends, like leonard, waiseng, yewsen, wang, yanzhang, and many more. I look at other people suffering in hospital: epileptics who have lost most of their daily function, and other people with tubes all over them, with parents crying, without parents crying. And i feel that i have got a better deal, than them.

Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
9:29 pm