Chinese New Year 2006

haiz. what a way to spend CNY - being sick.

i dunno what happened, but one plausible explanation was that i ate some uncooked food during the steamboat reunion dinner at my grandparents' place. plus, late nights, and irregular sleep patterns.

woke up on chu 1. still feeling fine in the morning. later on felt very tired. went to take a nap. chu 2 was even worse: felt extra tired and was taking naps every now and then. until about 1500 hrs where i woke up feeling very lethargic and feverish. even though i didn't take lunch i still felt like vomitting..

by night time i was feeling very horrible, so my parents too me to this 24hr clinic in bukit batok. feeling very weak. saw doctor and he diagnosed something like "Salmonella" but could not pinpoint any specific diagnosis. Had completely no idea why the GIT had "shut down". Fever at 38.0 C.

came back, took a whole cocktail of drugs, only to puke it out later. went to sleep.

at the middle of the night, i had a seizure.. most probably brought on by fever. ended about 0530 hours. that's when the time i woke up, managed to sit up and stagger across to my parents' room for help. haiz.

still there's chingay performance on saturday. i hope i dun have to miss it, after all the sweat that has gone into it. thing is, my neck still hurts and i still feel very tired. And i'm not sure if the lights in orchard road will ppt another seizure.. due to lowered threshold. sighz.

How to get the notes for a song

Thinking of that nice song by Jay Chou that you've always wanted to play on the piano or guitar? Do you wanna play Jie Kou, Tong Hua and wondered why some people can just listen and play the song?

Below is a single method of identifying the score of the song:

1. Identify the Key signature.

This step requires some guesswork, hear the song and play on the piano / guitar, some notes that try to match the pitch of the melody. Identify what notes does the song have.

Each song can have only one type of note for each letter, ie. only A natural, A sharp or A flat.

For example, the following notes are identified: A, E, G#, F#, B

the scale which has F# and G# is probably A Major.
Is it an E major? look out for any D#s in the song.

for minor keys, this may take more guesswork, but once the minor key is obtained, convert it to the major key to get the relevant key signature.

how to differentiate if a song is in major or minor key? listen to the first chord of the song or first chord of the chorus. if it sounds happy, it is major. if it sounds sad, it is minor.

2. Identify the chords

chords can be labelled as tonic (root), dominant (fifth), subdominant( fourth), etc. Each has its different feeling.

e.g. tonic feels at rest. e.g. for C Major, it is C chord.
dominant feels the need to resolve, e.g. G or G7 chord.
subdominant is between the need to resolve and at rest, e.g. F chord.

other dominant and subdominant chords exist, e.g. Em, Dm, which are comprised of keys diatonic to the C major chord. Listen to the bass to distinguish between, e.g. an F and a Dm.

within a chord such as C major 7 or extensions such as C9 etc, extra care is required to "spot" the interval difference between C chord and the extension.

e.g. C chord: C E G. C9 chord: C D G. listen for the second interval.

3. Identify the melody

with the sequence of chords identified, you can try to listen to the melody and try to idenfity it. Method: same as step 1: trial and error.

but if u have listened to the song before, there is probably a higher chance of guessing the melody correctly. listening to the song about 20-50 times stands probably a good chance of playing the melody accurately and fluently.

Slack Prac

Well.. started the day with pr1103 prac. contrary to what happened two weeks ago, i managed to finish on time!! :) some reasons:

1) i read the lab manual before hand and deciphered the latin prescription. (good boy!)
2) i prepared the worksheet for the charcoal capsules. (ok, being dishonest here, but almost everyone does it?)

yay. made diazepam capsules and charcoal capsules today. DAMN freaking hard to make the charcoal capsules. Didn't really understand how exactly the lab tech filled the capsule (the tail? body?) so i scooped up powder like how those ice-cream vendors give u your cone and stuffed it in the capsule, then weighted it hopefully it would be of enough weight. pretty stupid method.

i actually thought that the ppl will actually lead us to the "capsule machine", say something like, "ok guys, u put your capsules here, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, in a circle, then close the lid and press this button HERE, just press it, don't press in too hard, then wait until the thing goes "ding!" and presto! your capsules are ready, then u put them in a glass container for diazepam..."

damn, how wrong i was.

in the process of making the capsules i spilled the drugs onto the table numerous times, squeezed one capsule into a malformed shape, otherwise everything was ok.

think of the number of capsules that a pharmacist issues to a person every visit: about 20. e.g. mefenamic acid. its like they take about 6 (tid x 2/7) and then leave the packet there...

a hospital sees 200 patients every day.. that's 4000 capsules...

then there's the alternate situation where a kid tries to take a charcoal capsule, then drops it with his butterfingers, then the parent says, "eeeee!!! boy!!! don't eat!!!! DIRTY!!!!!"

grr.. there goes about 5-10mins worth of preparing THAT capsule. just imagine, i spent about 1.5 hours trying to prepare 6 capsules. hmm.

Lazy Sunday

Nothing much to do today. Went for meeting with Rotaract Club members at 2pm, Kent Ridge Hall, about the 3 wks voluntary trip to Bago City, Phillippines. I was the first one there, and i didn't really interact much with the organising committee there until Grace, fellow pharmacist and volunteer, came along.

Guess i was still.. undecided on whether to go. Many reasons. The money... whether i had time.. my illness.. the company. sigh...

Anyway, we had a mini ice-breaking session and was quite surprised to know they had only about ten members (i expected 50?) joining, five of us from chingay :p. Can't really remember the names of the other people, though. Memorable was, there was this really cute soft toy which one of the org com members that would scream "F**k you!! and other vulgarities" from its... speaker when you pressed its nose. This soft toy was given to anyone who wanted to speak, so any person who wanna interrupt would get a obscene vulgarity from the soft toy. Gets the message across. Hmm i think i should get one of those for wang, leo, ws...

They got down to business after showing us vid for the previous clip, etc. Astonishingly i was assigned logistics head, damn!! Means chief sai kang warrior. Well during the interview i volunteered for log but didn't expect to do this shit. haha. anyway, duties were quite slack: to get the baggage across, etc. We have to contact this freight company and beg them to ship our stuff there for air. Well.. guess we're gonna have to beg tens of thousands more people so lets start now.

Meeting ended about 5pm, i came home admist a pouring shower and prepared to go to CCK to get my contacts done. Well i was a first timer, so the thing was, before they gave me the contacts they had to teach me how to wear the damn thing. So there i was among not one but two curious families (there was another teenager guy who was a first timer) who looked at me although i was some circus freak, trying to hyperextend my eyelids and present my eyeball (yucks!! one thing i can never see is the eye) to these curious people.

can tell u, it is damn hard to get one contact lens in. took about 15 mins for each. but got it in finally. think by accident. the trick is to completely shove your eyelids away using both middle fingers to reveal about most of the anterior eyeball, then with an index finger shove the lens into place, blink and hopefully the thing focuses itself.

getting them out was much easier. shove the eyelids away, then use thumb and index finger to peel off the goddamn lens.

of course. make sure the darn lens is somehow saturated with saline solution or risk getting conjunctivitis. grr. for the sake of beauty.

Prank Call

received a call from an unknown person today on the family telephone. it was a voice of a middle aged woman.

"who is calling my phone?"

i said i did not call her phone then she got nasty: "hey u'd better stop calling my phone..." sigh. it is not good to have someone scold u for no reason in the morning. this is not the army. i put the telephone down.

the woman called again, she asked the same question, i gave the same answer and she gave the same scolding, which i capped off halfway.

immediately the woman called a third time. grrr. why wun she learn, damn. picked up the phone.

"whoever u are, you better stop calling my phone ah!! keep receiving alot of prank calls..." etc etc.

damn. by now i was damn exasperated and i shouted into the mouthpiece, "hey i didnt call you ok!!!" then slammed the phone down.

immediately after i slammed the phone down the phone rang a fourth time. i ignored it. the phone rang about >15 times, when i can't take it any longer i picked it up.

the woman didn't give me a chance to present my side of the story, nvm. i just screamed into the phone and capped it. DAMN.

as expected, the phone rang a fifth time after i capped it. woke my sister up from her sleep. damn. at about the 15th ring i picked up the phone and screamed "goddamn it can u please stop calling!! i didn't call your damn phone OK?!?!!" then "POM!" i slammed the phone down. GRRR.

the phone rang a sixth time. this time, we just let it rang. the caller didn't call back after that. i guess she gave up.

damn, now who gets the prank call??

later, my sister offered an explanation for this, as she had experienced similar situations before. it was thought that some $%^&*#$%^ who had nothing better to do went to divert their call to our house number. Why choose my house number? very easy. my number is 6**12345:

the first number denotes a home phone,
the next two numbers denotes the area in which the phone is located.
the last five numbers are random.

so some guy probably living in the same area as me probably just conveniently took the numbers 12345 and placed it to form my house number, then diverted all their calls to this number so that Caller-IDs will sense this number instead of their own number when they make the prank calls. I dunno how they do it, i dun use home phones much these days.

IF you live in the same district as me and wanna jump on the bandwagon, DON'T. God damn you if u do it. It is not fun for my household as well as the household u are pranking on. And it only shows your boliaoness and stupidity and childish thinking.

What do to in case anyone gets an epileptic attack

on request of mayi:

What is epilepsy: (too long to put here)
http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/answerplace/About-Epilepsy.cfm

First aid for epilepsy:
http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/answerplace/Medical/firstaid/index.cfm

First Aid for Generalized Tonic Clonic (Grand Mal) Seizures
During a generalized tonic-clonic seizure, the person suddenly falls to the ground and has a convulsive seizure. It is essential to protect him or her from injury.

Cradle the head or place something soft under it, a towel or your hand, for example. Remove all dangerous objects.

A bystander can do nothing to prevent or terminate an attack.

At the end of the seizure, make sure the mouth is cleared of food and saliva by turning the person on his or her side to provide an open airway and allow fluids to drain.

Remain calm. If the person assisting remains calm, the person having the seizure will be reassured when he or she regains consciousness.

Breathing almost always resumes spontaneously after a convulsive seizure. Failure to resume breathing signals a complication of the seizure such as a blocked airway, heart attack or severe head or neck injury. In these unusual circumstances, CPR must start immediately.

If repeated seizures occur, or if a single seizure lasts longer than five minutes, the person should be taken to a medical facility immediately. Prolonged or repeated seizures may suggest status epilepticus (nonstop seizures), which requires emergency medical treatment.

When providing seizure first aid for generalized tonic clonic (grand mal) seizures, these are the key things to remember:

Keep calm and reassure other people who may be nearby.
Don't hold the person down or try to stop his movements.
Time the seizure with your watch.
Clear the area around the person of anything hard or sharp.
Loosen ties or anything around the neck that may make breathing difficult.
Put something flat and soft, like a folded jacket, under the head.
Turn him or her gently onto one side. This will help keep the airway clear. Do not try to force the mouth open with any hard implement or with fingers. It is not true that a person having a seizure can swallow his tongue. Efforts to hold the tongue down can injure teeth or jaw.
Don't attempt artificial respiration except in the unlikely event that a person does not start breathing again after the seizure has stopped.
Stay with the person until the seizure ends naturally.
Be friendly and reassuring as consciousness returns.
Offer to call a taxi, friend or relative to help the person get home if he seems confused or unable to get home by himself.

Is an Emergency Room Visit Needed?

An uncomplicated generalized tonic clonic (grand mal) seizure in someone who has epilepsy is not a medical emergency, even though it looks like one. It stops naturally after a few minutes without ill effects. The average person is able to continue about his business after a rest period, and may need only limited assistance, or no assistance at all, in getting home. In other circumstances, an ambulance should be called.

No Need to Call an Ambulance
if medical I.D. jewelry or card says "epilepsy," and
if the seizure ends in under five minutes, and
if consciousness returns without further incident, and
if there are no signs of injury, physical distress, or pregnancy.

An Ambulance Should Be Called
if the seizure has happened in water.
if there's no medical I.D., and no way of knowing whether the seizure is caused by epilepsy.
if the person is pregnant, injured, or diabetic.
if the seizure continues for more than five minutes.
if a second seizure starts shortly after the first has ended.
if consciousness does not start to return after the shaking has stopped.





















A generalized tonic clonic seizure:
Here the whole brain is affected from the beginning.
(a) there is a cry and loss of consciousness,arms flex up then extend
(b) arms remain rigid (the tonic phase)for a few seconds. A series of jerking movementstake place (the clonic phase) as muscles contract and relax together.
(c) the jerking is slowing down andwill eventually stop.
(d) the man has been placed on his side to aid breathing and to keep the airway clear.

Gathering my bearings

Welcome to yongqiang's "shit why is my life so poor thing" posts again.

2nd week of sem 2 and feeling the heat already, 6 module man?! why do you have to attempt 6 mods this sem then??

lets have a look at the mods:

PR1103 (Pharmacy Practice I): lectures are so far ok, something about "ethics of a pharmacist" and what is the job scope, what sai kang u have later in your life, what kinda pharmacist you wanna be next time, what sai kang u have being that pharmacist, how to get promoted, what sai kang u have to do to get promoted, etc etc. I realise that pharmacy operates heavily on the "sai kang" and the "bao ka liao" concepts. Hmm. better start to like sai kang soon. Good thing: (rumored) final exam is MCQ.
Rating: 2.5 / 5

LSM1401 (Intro to Biochem): lectures suck, lecturer sucks even more. The way he handled the tutorial registration is way damn uncool. Lectures are a blend of A-level bio, u can see people falling asleep in their seats as he (the lecturer) tries valiantly to link topics to a certain module "General Biology", which everyone is thinking "wtf is that, i dun take life sciences anyway". In spite of that, workload is tough, 5 tutorials and 3 pracs (ok it seems daunting cos he created a folder for each of the tutorials and pracs so we have 8 folders there collecting dust). ONLY good thing: final exam is MCQ (but open book, which is a bad thing).
Rating: 0.5 / 5

PY1106 (Physiology II): well what can u say about the 8am lectures on mon and thu mornings. Still the same, wake me up from my slumber to see some lecturer talking about some system. In lieu of the other *ahem* modules, i shall give the lectures an ok lah. At least they're informative, and i know where i'm going. If i'm not asleep. Pace is fast - we've already completed one tutorial since week 1.
Rating: 3 / 5

PC1327 (Science of Music): well the first 7 lectures are BORING. cos i've learnt everything before, and i can finish in 20min what the lecturer takes in 120 min. not that i'm boastful but he takes very long to complete one lecture! its just like, 14-16 slides per lecture and each slide isn't very wordy. He takes the first 30min to crap about administrative stuff, ad-libbing some of his own jokes and everyday life and the next hour to talk about the lecture. then lets us off 30min before schedule.
Next time, if i wanna be a lecturer, i will emulate this guy. Get the pay for half the work done! How ingenious!
Looking forward to the tutorials though.
Rating: 4/5

SSA2211 (Evolution of a city-state): Seems like going back to sec 1 history again, first we re-visit Temasek in a most analytical fashion. Everything makes sense now after all the elaborations and everything, e.g. why singapore is an entrepot, mainly got some effect from China, blah blah blah. The sickening thing about this is, the lecture is held at a time when my concentration levels are way below normal (4-6pm on a thursday after 03 x 2h lectures) and this guy talks like a GPMG firing without rest for 2h, (so far there is no GPMG that can do that, everything would have burnt out) and you still want me to analyse and write down all the crap he's talking about!! although the crap makes good sense though. Those of you who find that NUS lecturers are too slack, u can sit for his lecture.
Scared of the tutorial sessions and the exam though. Think this SS is destined for s/u.
Rating: 2.5/5

MKT1003 (Principles of Marketing): another topic which is not part of my niche and never was, however it is considered far more interesting that the other science modules to science students (ironic). Basically (i think) it teaches you how to market your products, via advertising and what not, to consider environmental factors in order to analyse whether your product can make it on the market Out There.
Now why did i smash my General Account's piggy bank and dumped all 676 points into this module which i didn't have any idea about? hmm. maybe it was the fact that alot of pharmacists were taking this module. maybe i was darn inspired by the pr1103 lecturer that "most guys will be industrial pharmacists" and decided to bow down to fate. maybe i was lured by the fact that industrial pharmacists make alot of money. maybe i was so fatalistic, cos my mum when to ask some fortune teller and the guy said i would become a businessman, not a healthcare worker (which is damn sad).
anyway, nice insight into the marketing world out there. provided me with some good knowledge.
-ve points: i got tutorials coming up, which are undoable. and have to help in some research shit. and worse still, i dunno a shit about marketing and the corporate world!!!
Rating: 3 / 5

Other stuff:

1. Chingay Dance: finishing soon on the 4th feb. good work guys.

2. EML: still no song yet. darn. think i'll just do sai kang for the incoming concert.

3. NUH volunteering: wanna continue volunteering but clashes with...

4. Rotaract Club: trip to phillippines in may-june. should i?

Chingay - Parade of Dreams

11 more days to the big day.

Well can't say i'm very excited cos there's still the issue of the lighting on that day... i dunno whether it will be appropriate for me. Hopefully no flashing lights... otherwise, 1.5 months of hard work will go down the drain. My partner will not be able to do stunts, which is a pity (to her). And the formations will have to be re-drawn.

At this crucial point, i choose to reflect on the journey that i have undertook the last 1.5 months.

I didn't join chingay dance planning to dance, instead i joined on impulse... i would rather say doing jingwen (dance ic) a favour by "filling up the numbers". For i didn't know how to dance, nor could i dance with my excess baggage flying around.

The initial period was extremely tiring, especially when my physical fitness came into question. Especially the first session - i have never done so much exercise (two hours straight) in three years. I presented with many aches and pains over the next few training sessions.

Traning during the holidays were sorta almost every day, so gradually it became a routine. This helped a bit, as chingay gradually became the main focus of whatever i was doing - ignored all my other projects.

Somehow the intention to quit wasn't really significant. Maybe it was the catchy music. Maybe it was the notion that i could be part of this group at last, after failing the auditions for the Rag dance. After all i saw the amount of cameraderie and fun they had during Rag and it was great, marvellous to even the outsider.

Gradually, i got to know everyone, probably due to introductions, but most likely by fangxi (choreographer) ordering them around and scolding them (haha)... ok guess my name got mentioned zillions of times too.

But yet, the people i was with, i guess, had the most contribution to the fun. Although placed in the seemingly more "quiet" group, which initially we didn't speak much at all, i must thank Cheuk Fung for having the spirit to "unite" everyone more or less as the guy went to spontaneously engage everyone in conversation, myself included, such that he became the central "glue" or "magnet" in drawing everyone else together. Also of mention was Louis, whose crappy jokes together with Weiming and Qijing gave good reason to attend practices. Another factor was probably that there were many people from Block A (the block in which i lived in) participating, it felt like a "block outing" although i wasn't staying in hall anymore. In fact, it felt more fun compared to when i was staying in hall.

Sometimes, the journey there is worth more than what u see there in the end. I think chingay was a journey that i would probably consider one of the greatest in my travels - somehow, these journeys where u had to exchange (blood) sweat and tears for - are probably the most satisfying of most. I thank those who bid me not to falter during my steps, to instead shoulder on with pride, and who were there for me all this time.

Thank you for making this journey a great one. Feels like a dream come true.

Chronology of an Epileptic Attack

Stage 1: Early Aura

The aura is the period where I start to experience disturbances, e.g. flashing lights, dizziness, headaches, muscle numbness, etc in a manner that does not affect my concentration yet.

Usually this happens relatively often, but due to its harmless nature and the fact that i can still function as an intelligent person, as well as it can be controlled, it is not too much of a problem.

Basically during this period the aura may spontaneously go away, or if not, basically it may still be controlled by putting me in places with little stimuli, i.e.
1) dark places / closing my eyes - to block out visual stimuli - first sign of early aura.
2) quiet places - to block out aural stimuli
3) warm places - to ensure blood circulation (usually in air-con places)

Usually this stage of the aura might last from a few seconds or a few minutes to about two hours.

Stage 2: Late Aura

This develops from Stage 1, where the aura cannot be controlled, and it intensifies to give more complex symptoms such as increased heart rate (which i think marks the start of Stage 2). (From what i know) the seizure has spread over to more parts of the brain, i think reaching the ANS sometimes.

When heart rate increases, it means one thing: the body senses BIG trouble. The body is now in critical condition, it MUST rest, no other stimuli must be present, then only it can have a chance of controlling the seizure. The increased heart rate is suspiciously caused by increased adrenaline, as the "fight or fright" symptoms are extremely dominant. The patient gets restless, and starts chattering his teeth uncontrollably at a particular fast basal rate (about 8-10 Hz).

Usually this period means big trouble. An ambulance may be called if there is no sign of the symptoms going back to Stage 1.

Lasts for about 5-30 minutes.

Stage 3: Just before the seizure

This stage happens very fast. The seizure is now spreading like wildfire in the brain, and there is nothing you can do to control it but to let it run. Extreme visual disturbances such as seeing lights, being blinded by lights, hearing disturbances such as a faint buzzing sound, or hypersensitivity to touch occurs. To outsiders, the sufferer does not respond to much commands anymore, or is simply oblivious to his surroundings. The body starts to seize and the patient may feel an uncontrollable urge to bite something. He or she might start to salivate, and choke on the saliva produced.

Seizure stage

I dunno what happens to me during this stage as i lose consciousnss altogether. The patient hence will have absolutely no memory of this. Observers will note that the patient convulses, i.e. muscles start shaking uncontrollably. He might foam or salivate in large amounts.

Timing for seizure stage is crucial: there is a certain time frame that the seizure is allowed to proceed before brain damage occurs. Never leave a patient seizing for more than 4 minutes. I think what usually doctors do is that they will inject IV/rectal valium to the patient to stop the convulsions.

A seizure is probably a medical emergency and should be regarded as one that is life-threatening.

After the seizure: Post-Ictus

The patient recovers from the seizure with no memory of what happened during the seizure. At most he can recall Stage 3 but that's about it.

Due to the extreme forced exertion of the muscles, he might experience muscle weakness throughout the body. Also, if he has injured any part of the body, he might not notice or feel it at first.

Tongue will be bitten (one way to identify a seizure)

May have a splitting headache that is impossible to get rid of (usually takes about 2 painful hours).

May be hyperventilating.

Vomitting is not uncommon especially if he has had a meal before the seizure. Vomitting makes the person feel better. Induction of vomitting i think should not be carried out though.

Usually, the person recovers to normal after a deep sleep, although full recovery would probably take 2-3 days. The patient is advised to rest completely for at least 24 hours (i.e. nothing that will trigger a seizure, nothing mentally tiring).

---

Question for Leo and Yew Sen:

Explain the possible physiological changes that happen in an epileptic's body based on this account of an epileptic attack. :p

Shacked (2)

Another thing to note. Today i was sitting at the back row of the science of music lecture cos i can't find Chiew Lei and her friend and Joy didn't come today. then i saw this guy with a laptop one row below me...

he was msning with.. his girlfriend!!! grrr. the thing was that they called each other dear and all those rou ma stuff, well i could see it all. okok. the green-eyed monster in me is surfacing again. haha but the thing is, his gf is darn chio!!! what the hell in the world has this guy done to impress her?!

anyway brings me back to the point. i think i'm damn despo. haha. no, not think, i am damn despo. what can u expect man! i haven't had a real relationship before in twenty-one years of my life.

and time is running out.
in 2 years time i'll be hell busy with year 3 subjects.
in 3 years time i'll be hell busy with FYP and stuff (assuming i get it).
in 4 years time i'll be working. most prob doing my intern or whatever they call it.
then it goes downhill from here.
guess i'll spend my 30s still pining for one.. then give up when i hit 40. haha. assuming i live that long. then maybe get a vietnamese gf. but that is sooooooo sad... noooooooo

sien. its so hard to find true love in singapore. often its like u like the gal, but she doesn't like you, then simultanousely another gal likes you but u dun like that gal. Like cupid is firing GPMG, all the shots go haywire and ricochet everywhere. then you have stuff like infidelity (?) where the guy goes for another person (or now equally prevalent is the gal going for another person). one night stands are increasingly being trivialised.

okok talking rubbish again.. move on. just get me a gf sometime, will you? or get me a beer haha

Shacked

Went out myself to bugis to change chingay shoes. Darn i think jingwen's ears must have got problem. Very clearly i heard myself saying "size 44" but somehow or rather i dunno how she recorded it as size 40. its like, my leg is super big la.

got back at around 1900h. ate and slept till midnight. woke up. knew i would probably not sleep again much for the rest of the nite.

anyway, just finished msning with the pharm ppl (because my internet connection screwed up). Joy from my Science of Music class just send me a couple of vids which i tot were extremely hilarious. put them in my Laughs section. go see.

think all NJ people are weird, like myself, leonard, waiseng, edward, shunji, some of my juniors in pharm, okok the list goes on. think we mug too much. or maybe the school is indeed screwed up, as confirmed by many poor people who had to suffer one year and 10 months of compromised JC life there.

hey i back this up with stats: about 70-80% of the people says NJ sucks. about <0%>

whenever the word NJ is mentioned, the next word would very likely be "sucks".

okok. this i write with a pinch of salt. dun come and sue me.

The writer does not mean any of the above things he written. All that he wrote, if with reference to any subject of any sort, is purely coincidential and without menace.

OK i'm crapping too much. again. Writing out of point with my title.

I turn on the IVLE and i'm appalled.

Fundamentals of Biochemistry: suddenly a whole lot of shit pops out, with stuff like Practical 1 - pH and Buffers Practical 2 - Spectrophotometry & Protein Assay Practical 3 - Enzyme Kinetics.
3 practicals and 5 tutorials. and "project" headings for all.

Oh god, why did i take 6 modules?? i'm killing myself.

On top of that, i'm doing:
chingay as well as
trying HARD to TRY to get a gf, as well as
trying to compose music for the EML, as for my Science of Music module, as well as for myself, volunteering at NUH biweekly
and what have u.

argh. why is life so hard. sien. sinking into depression. wish i'd hadn't use up an insanely 676 points in a rash decision that day to bid for Principles of Marketing. Only to regret it and to find my general account broke! i'd wish i'd followed yuantai's advice and waited till the next semester to bid for whatever i want, a rich man.

feel like taking psychology next sem. guess have to wait for next next sem.. or yr 3 or 4
maybe can take malay.
now.. guess have to take arts gem and one other sucky module.

arrgghh my life is so terrible. must fa xie. sing song.

Yet another day in NUS

Today is Monday, 16th Jan, 2005. Woke up at 0600 hours. Very groggy. First thing to do was to turn on the laptop, then ate my carbamazepine. Haven't brushed teeth yet.

Yep. Cos of the crazy (aptly named) Prof Seow, Dr Seow or what, cos he is not an assistant professor, about 40-50 pharmacy people had to get up at 0600 hours TODAY to bid for their precious slots for LSM practical.

Yes, because Junice told all the pharmacy people sometime before this that there was to be only one LSM practical slot, which is wednesday. So everyone happily scheduled their wednesday afternoons for the slot. Then Seow said that there were two, and the thing was that you can't fit all the pharmacy people into one slot.

Hence the mad rush by pharmacists to take the same practical slot with their friends. reminds u of 1000 people camping outside a departmental store offering freebies to the first x people, the stampede under way.

I thought of waking up at 0615 since the night before i slept quite late, around 1am plus. Well luckily i didn't, cos by that time more than half of the desired slots had already been taken. Imagine: 15 slots gone for every 5 minutes.

Then some people of course didn't get their slots. Cos they woken up too late. So fingers started to point around, and it came back to poor Junice... well, which referred the fault back to the NUS authorities. well i guess it's more of the management's fault but then the tai ji goes on... poor gal man, gets arrowed here and there. (well typical NS shit.)

Came 10am for pharmacy prac lecture. as usual its the quiet lecturer from National Cancer Centre which words i can't really hear cos i was sitting at the back and the fella never even did a mike test, or worse still she didn't on the mike and half the time i was "wtf is the lady talking about" especially those bits which i had wanted to know, like the ethics, or how much she earns, or about the part on euthanasia.

So i, CH, jev, and zw were laughing along as we recalled days of army "ethics" as she went through the 12 ethics of a pharmacist.

What we talked: .

Btw, only one army ethic: Do it, but don't get caught. -Anon.
Another army ethic: when in doubt, reach for the referral letter. -anon.

Our code of ethics

1. A Pharmacist shall regard the health of the patient as his first consideration.

2. A Pharmacist shall strive to achieve and maintain the highest standard of professional services provided for the public.

3. A Pharmacist shall respect the trust and confidentiality of his professional relationship with the patient

4. A Pharmacist shall always reinforce the confidence and trust placed in his colleagues by patients.

5. A Pharmacist shall always assist his colleagues and other health professionals, when called upon for advice or help

6. A Pharmacist shall maintain effective professional relationships with his colleagues and other health professionals, and pay due regard to their opinions and achievements.

7. A Pharmacist shall refrain from publicly criticising his colleagues and members of other health professions (but can criticise other professions??)

8. A Pharmacist shall refrain from attracting clientele to himself and away from his colleagues, other than by the establishment of a sound professional reputation

9. A Pharmacist shall observe the laws relevant to the practice of his profession at all times and must always dissociate himself from fraudulent and unethical practices.

10. A Pharmacist shall concern himself with the facilities and methods of educating and training future practitioners.

11. A Pharmacist shall keep abreast of the progress of pharmaceutical knowledge in order to maintain the highest standard of professional competence.

12. A Pharmacist shall refrain from accepting conditions of service which do not ensure his professional independence.

PHARMACY!!! (punch hand in air)

DRINK!!!! glugglugluglugluglugluglug...

ps. why the rules apply to guys only?! not fair...

6 module man

timetable for sem 2:

Monday: 3 Lectures from 0800 to 1400 with a tiny 30min lunch break at 1130-1200.

Tuesday: Marketing lecture at 1000-1200, followed by 2h lunch, then 1 tutorial and 1 lecture from 1400-1800.

Wednesday: Lab Day. Bring lab coat!! PR1103 lab from 0900-1200 in the morning and LSM lab from 1400-1800. Good thing is, there are only 3 LSM labs so the period would be probably also taken up for tutorials.

Thursday: Shag Day. Same as monday except i dun dismiss at 1400, instead i continue with one SS tutorial from 1400-1600 and lecture from 1600-1800.

Friday: Slack Day: Morning tutorial from 1000-1200 then followed by 3hr break, tutorial at 1500-1600 and last lecture of the week from 1600-1800.

Some wise words

taken from http://www.jim.ferguson.org

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let thatperson know how you feel.

God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right person, one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person.
Life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you,only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so hard at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear it from them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his/her heart.

Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, to those who still love although they've been hurt before.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone--but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Hope you find the one of your dreams.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you justwant to pick them out of your dreams and hug them for real! Hope you find the one who makes you smile.Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
Pray you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make youhappy.
Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image--otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;they just make the most of everything that comes their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone else around you is crying.

Some modules that will undoubtedly be very popular in NUS

BGR1101 - Boy-Girl Relationships I

Learning objectives: To provide an introductory but essential knowledge required in the knowledge of boy-girl relationships (BGR). To use previous experiences in simulated situations to give rise to solutions to typical BGRs, as well as relate future experiences with theory. Major topics: What makes boys and girls tick? The basis for any relationship. Love and Lust. The dating process. Gifting. Dating. How to say the "three words". What makes a relationship work.

Module Examinable : No
Open Book Exam : No
Modular Credits : 4
Pre-requisite : NIL
Preclusion : Those who have taken higher level BGR modules are not eligible for BGR1101, BGR1102
Module Workload (A-B-C-D-E)* : 2-1-0-0-7
Remarks : Nil

BGR1102 - What goes inside a girl's mind

Learning objectives: What is inside a girl's mind during the dating process? This module aims to provide a short but fulfilling understandings to the inner thoughts of girls when they are involved in boy-girl relationships. It studies the thoughts and reactions of girls ranging from kindergarden (4-5 years), from the time when they start in discovering the opposite sex, to late adolescence (about 19-21 years). Amongst some of the topics that will be covered: what makes boys so interesting. factors that influence decision of getting a boyfriend.

Module Examinable : Yes
Open Book Exam : No
Modular Credits : 4
Pre-requisite : NIL
Preclusion : Those who have taken higher level BGR modules are not eligible for BGR1101, BGR1102
Module Workload (A-B-C-D-E)* : 2-1-0-0-7
Remarks : Nil

First day of school, sem 2

Woke up to torrential rain at 0600. Dragged my semiconscious self to the bathroom for shower. Etc. Not bad, reached LT31 at 0720, record time. Had time to buy some breakfast.

First lecture: 0800-1000. Physiology II. Lt31. Quite heavy-duty material from Bloody Wong. Almost fell asleep. Saw all those familiar faces (pharm classmates) again. Most of the time i'm too sleepy to fully realise what happened. Before long, Wong finished his boring lecture on the Stomach and Pancreas and Liver.

it felt like prof bay's anatomy class again. thing is, i enjoyed prof bay's anatomy class. not this one.

Second lecture: 1000-1130. Pharmacy Practice I, LT24. Back to the "freezer" LT with the "stuck-up" chairs. Listened to someone called Ms Tan dictate the course requirements. Got the lab manual, found it looked like something from a medic's handbook back in SAF.. so i'm gonna do this now. Quite important module in this course, think the majority of us will be using this for our lunch next time. Seems easy but just look at the amount of "sure-die" mistakes: wrong name: 0, wrong drug: 0, wrong labelling, 0. no room for mistakes.

Oh yeah, after the lecture we treated Jevin to a "pre-celebration" of his 22nd birthday!! woo hoo. Boys' style.

Third lecture: 1200-1330. Science of Music, LT32. Knew Joy and Chiew Lei, two preiviously unknown people from pharmacy class that would probably be my most trusted confidants in this module for this sem from now on. OK the topic is somethng i wanted to do, yep. But the thought of doing it with countless music pros with their "grade 8 piano or diploma" qualifications is quite a turn-off.

After all, i'm not really that professional when it comes to music. All that i've learnt is from my own creation. Hopefully i can do well in this.

Crashed: Fourth lecture: 1400-1600. Microbes, Environment and Man, LT 23. Along with me were stephanie, xuanwei, and the two huilings. Thought this module would be my lebrensaum (cheap sixth mod, easy content, and plus i've taken another Microbes module before). The first lecture was darn cheap easy, it was like revisiting o-level biology again. proteins, carbohydrates, lipids, nucleic acids for first lecture. no names either.

Left for home feeling damn smirk but then received a call from huilin saying that Sci only allows this to be taken as a UE!! omg. so that was the price. dropped the module when i went back feeling damn sien.

Tomorrow's a holiday (forgot what it was). Wonder what i'll do. Still feel like singing.

The day before school starts

1. Sepak takraw match

It was a cold, rainy Sunday morning. Yet i was feeling quite pissed that while many of my peers remained in deep sleeps in this magnificent cooling weather across the island, i had to climb out of bed rather reluctantly (slept for only 5-6h) and get ready for a shooting assignment at Sheares Hall. yep was to meet my leader there at 0830 hours and we'd flim sepak takraw matches at this place called the "Old Gym".

So we went to the old gym. At first, i was very grumpy because of the fact that i had to rise so early (not enough sleep makes me grumpy, its a proven fact) as well as the lingering thoughts of the previous incidents. So i gave monosyllabic replies during our walk to SRC.

Then at SRC, i ripped the artery between the thumb and the forefinger of my right hand (if u stretch the muscles of your fingers i.e. "carpal muscles" then u can see the artery very clearly) during setting up of the stand. somehow the stand snipped some of the flesh out and it was bleeding quite profusely. made a makeshift bandage with some gauze and scotch tape.

So we filmed. OK i think it wasn't too bad after all. As we had only 20min of camera life (which is not a lot actually), my leader told me to film "certain views" i.e. few-second shots of nice stunts like people "heading" the sepak ball. Then coupled with the fact that SH didn't really do too many stunts... haha was quite easy actually. SH lost to EH. As expected. haha. ok but i think it was really a nice match put in by the guys. Along the way he (my leader) also told me how to use the camera as well as suggest some appropriate angles for the shooting.

All in all, i think i learned a fair bit of stuff during the session. Enjoyed it too. So much so that when we broke at 11am, we still had lunch together in a joival mood.

2. Outing with JC guys

along the way back amongst rainy streets on a 183, i received this sms from waiseng.

"Hi ppl, me and leo gonna last burst of fire at orchard at 5 for dinner, join us or feel depressed at home while the world revolves unabated"

ws has this rare talent of making people like me laugh. which is not easy. a smirk is different from a laugh.

anyway, i went to cut my hair after the shooting. went down to the salon downstairs my house. basically the "salonist" (i prefer to call my hairstylist barbers) just shaved off about 60-70% of my messy frump. though his skill was damn zai (so he can impress all the aunties). anyway it turned out to be quite... nothing on the first look. Charged me $12 for that, wth.

Went back and slept until 4:15pm. Woke up, then gelled my hair to make it stand up. With the leather jacket and jeans, i really look like a punk.

Went to orchard and ate this Pepper Lunch stuff while talking about Russell Peters with leo and ws (and leaving boon wee very often in the dark). Quite a rip off, at $10. Then we just walked around looking for bags from Orchard to Dhoby Ghaut. Felt like the old days before i entered uni again, although now mostly the conversations were about uni stuff, not army stuff. Felt damn good.

Along the way i reflected upon the following:

I think man nature is to make mistakes, after all no one is perfect. Then when someone make mistakes, we cannot go on blaming the guy forever, we must forgive and forget.
i think god gave us the ability to forgive and forget in order to let us learn from our mistakes.. and from other people's mistakes. Just think: if we can't forgive and forget, we would probably end up killing each other.

Chill out without chill

went cineleisure to sing k-box today. edwin's organising, thought alot of people would be going so dressed a bit more stylishly.. haha. went in the jacket the pharm dudes got for me and jeans, i must say i attracted a hell lot of looks from bashful schoolgirls, suspicious uncles and NCC people, some aunties maybe. either thought i am damn suave, looks like a terrorist, or looks like bae young jun. (haha the last part i made up myself).

think i look like a terrorist cos i kept fiddling with my mp3 player which was at waist level. and the pouch looks damn big.. about 15cm x 7cm x5cm. haha..

anyway took the train to orchard and walked to cineleisure. then found out the stark truth... only edwin and tiongphew were there!!! arrghh. now i have to sing with two guys!!! it's not so fun singing with two guys!!! haiz. think all the gals pang sehed edwin.. dress so nice for wad?? felt like pangsehing them on the spot but no la, still went. after all didn't sing with edwin before.

tell u the truth, its no fun singing with one tenor one bass. especially when u hit the female songs or the duets. alot of songs i have to sing falsetto!! and its no joke. otherwise the songs will sound really low. you really stretch your larynx that way.. haiz. tiring stuff. muifong and xuanwei etc why aren't u there!! arrghh.

about leaving time, the waiter came into the room and asked us to go to the main waiting area and played zhong ji mi ma (guess the number). quite lame cos when my turn came i only had one number left to guess, so i just said "42" and then i went into second round (no u dun do a forfeit like the wu zong xian version.) then they told us to throw 3 sixes with a dice. the fastest person who can do this will be the winner. quite lame actually. for some unknown reason, i did 3 sixes damn easily.

i guess luck will be shining on those who are down in the dumps. well, it all balances up somehow.

my prize for my efforts: one single Chinese New Year disc. oh what the heck, at least it's original.

then left for dinner at around 6pm still feeling very down. think i today very off-form. waste money man, if off-form. doesn't get the purpose done. supposed to feel very hyped but instead left cine with shrugged shoulders.

edwin and tiongphew left for dinner. wanted to eat with them at marche but thought otherwise.
firstly: it was too expensive. i drew money 2-3 times this week liao. horrible.
secondly: felt damn tired. singing is really shag.
thirdly: i got craving for burger king at cineleisure. (haha sorry guys, esp those who thought i would be going. didn't mean to pangseh everyone of you.)

ate BK at cine. loved taste of the rendang double there. it was the first thing that made me feel better after all these angst had been released. upsized the meal, it felt like good times all over again.

took 190 to Bukit Panjang where wang lived. fell asleep on the way. damn caught myself drooling in public.. eeeech. spent time watching tv, chatting, and checking my modules on ivle. damn kena outbidded for principles of econs (EC1301). another problem, another day. felt like playing games but somehow we just chatted.

think wang is a great buddy to have. anytime i feel down i'll just call him (he'll be playing dota or some other crap) and say, "eh can i go over for a while" and he'll know what happened. offers me solitude and some person to talk to, to vent all my anger out (verbally). of course with the appropriate vulgarities, we just let'em fly. middle fingers start pointing everywhere. after the "vomiting" it always makes me feel better.. his place is always ready for a stayover (read: the floor). i've been to his house so many times that i probably dun need much approval from his mum (he just needs to tell her and i can stay). anytime the tension in the house gets too excessive, its 176 to his house. anytime i need someone to talk to, its his house.

thanks bro.

yet at his place i'm still dogged by smg people. supposed to go back at 1800 hours to edit the clip that i've produced. ignored their smses. then at wang's place, they called me so i had no choice (the phone was ringing non-stop) so i had to answer the call.

i guess, somehow or rather, all this shit has gotta end sometime. i can't go on rebelling forever. although the devil in me says "why should u listen to him?? after all u dun stay in hall anymore!! you should enjoy your last few days of holidays!!"

but i feel like, damn this has gotta end. otherwise i will continue to feel down. down that i'm rejecting them. i'm rejecting something i wanted to do in the beginning. the angel in me also says "dun run away from what you must do in the end... have courage. if you don't do it, then someone will have to do it. and that someone will blame you. which is not what u want right??"

haiz. guess the angel's talk makes more sense (and has a better ending).

guess i'm agreeable to fliming sepak takraw on sunday and helping with the editing. i just want this madness to end. to quote clement: "if you don't like a job, you go in and do it half-f**ked, that's the SAF way."

how true. like what wang said, just leave the darn camera there and listen to mp3 music while (in a positive light) sun-tanning. dun even wanna see the balls flying around. then just position the cam at certain random angles and call it a day. when asked, say that's "artistic impressions".

think i'll cut my hair soon. shu ying (girl from SCD) told me i look like a year 3!! high time to cut it too. it looks unsightly and uncomfortable. no ponytail for me. sighz.

as they say the phoenix rises from the ashes... like the Blood Mage's Phoenix, when it's alive and kicking it is a formidable opponent capable of spewing out hot fire but when it expires to form its egg, it is at its most vulnerable. at this most vulnerable point in time it requires the protection of the other units to ensure its survival. once the timer is up it rises from the ashes and becomes a new phoenix, as powerful as before.

i believe everyone goes down once in a while. when they do so, they require the support of their closest friends to let them recover so that they can return to their original status.

f***ing pissed.... with myself (note: vulgarities. quite obvious rite.)

came back from another round of SCD. morale is low, that is, mine.

never knew cleaning (ie correcting dance steps) could be so tedious and tough. maybe i've been through too many cleaning sessions. maybe i find them tiring. maybe i find them stupid. maybe i think it's just a waste of time, lets just have nathan to see us tmr and lets be done with it.

just realised that i'm actually the RDS of the entire dance. yep. can't help it, i dunno what i was doing for half the actions. this angle, that angle. too stiff, too relaxed. too nuah, too forceful.

i dun blame them. after all, when logic is still reigning, the fault boils down to my own self - i should have been more active, more flexible. should instead thank them and appreciate what they are doing instead of just feeling down. yet, some parts of my muscles, especially both gluteus maximii seem vaguely innervated. getting tired seems inevitable - just 3.5min of dance and i'm hyperventilating, my muscles ache, etc etc. somehow i feel like it seems possible, yet that sheer glimmer of hope appears and disappears so often.

whatever.

it seems that the easiest person to blame is not the one that is causing all the trouble, but yourself. who can you blame without starting a blame war but yourself. if you think about it, you could possibly avert the blame, unless you had no hand in doing so (e.g. like SAF, when someone blames u and its definitely not your fault, you just curse the officer who did that. or admit that it's not your fault and move on.)
but if u could avert that, then you have responsibility to accept blame.. that's the SAF logic.

whatever.

received a call from the smg people again. 5 missed calls. f**king pissed off with them. first they pangseh me, then they sms. "r u free to flim the table tennis match tomorrow at sheares hall in the morning? otherwise we'll have to do it on sunday." ok they did not use the words "last chance".

but it felt like "pls report to ________ under Section XX of the Enlistment Act in Full Battle Order and your No. 4 to blah. Draw rifle. Assemble at 0800 hours at parade square. (or else prepared to get charged.)"


That one, is LL if u kena. Nobody goes against the Enlistment Act.

this one, i feel like answering his call and screaming over the mike,

"hey u goddamn piece of ****, damn just ask me to go then i must go ar?? what happened to all the "support" i got during the shooting of chingay mtv huh?? a platoon of air ar?!?! camera i must find myself, tape i must find, stand i must also find. had to run up and down the whole freaking block. then summore expect me to know how to use the camera in like a "*ding* - you are saved" from god. then leave every single piece of shit to me and now u wan me to wake up extra early tomorrow so i can film some assholes from two halls playing table tennis and sacrifice my sleep. goddamn think i am very eng ar? then those other two freaking assholes from my team do wad?? do they share the $30 that i paid for the treat for the dancers?? i know the whole freaking idea is MY idea, so do i have to do it ALONE??" ccbknn.

like i freaking need the points for hall lidat. but yet, to say "I QUIT!!!" would be the most freaking choice i can ever make. damn. all down the drain.

i guess all this wraps up to my easy attitude and gulliblity and "never-say-no" attitude. like what choon han said, "yongqiang never says no to anything." i guess he's fucking right. damn that guy is aces when comes to spotting whats NOT written. even i admit it sometimes but i never REALLY admit it. i thought i was being kind, being friendly, helpful, maybe even just to "fill in the blank position".

but i know that now you must say NO sometimes. it's a personal right, not a priviledge. unless in army when you have all your rights as a citizen cancelled and revoked to that of a military person. sometimes u can't say no. fine. now, when someone offers you the option to say no, consider saying NO before saying "ok".

so that when something happens, you cannot blame yourself for not saying NO.

pissed off (note: some vulgarities.)

i feel like strangling the smg people. just received an sms telling me to report for filiming of IHG. dunno wtf is so important about IHG. damn. i went through IBG and hated every moment of it, the fake smiles, the late nights spent watching other people cheer. other peoples glory. what do i have to do with it? i dun care who or which block or hall got first, second, third, or who is who and whatever.

then if u dun go, the hall people just look at you with that damned look. get more damned looks, and you're damned in hall.

i kept thinking about my disability, why can't i even train for all those sports that i am supposed to cheer for, whereas other people can and are treated so much larger than life. why people treat me like shit because i can't run, cant play sports. and they dun have any freaking idea of what happened to me. like i dun exist. maybe i dun.

some fuckers i know in hall asked me if i wanted to join their sport. or club. and i said no. then they sorta left me out from their worlds. permanently. these days i meet them there's a 0-50% chance of saying hi on the streets.

god damn them.

i wonder whats so good about playing electones, which i spent nearly ten years and countless dollars to learn. u can't play anything on the piano, which is more prevalent anyway. people treat you like a perfomer, once the music is out, over, vanished from their ears, they give their appaluse and exit. there is no sweat, no tears, no blood involved and visible to the crowd.

so many people say playing music can attract crowds of females and that music can make them "lovestruck" with me. total rubbish i must say. there are better mp3 players out there. so far there isn't one love fool that has fallen prey yet.

back to the smg people. stupid smg people, seems like a call-up from the military to me, "CPL tan, please report to Mandai Hill Camp this saturday to film the Chief Of Army having tea." i'm starting to wonder whether treating the dance people on behalf of the smg (read previous entry) was worth it or not.

i'm starting to wonder if joining the smg or any particular hall activity was worth it. especially if u have ungrateful people expecting u to do this so that "things can go on and you can spare me a shit of solving another problem - you". so that "we can receive the Mast'ers or whoever shitter's 'heartfelt thanks' with a smile".

somehow, all the ideals that were with me when i decided to join hall have all deserted me, fading to reveal the true, ugly side. its like those ghost stories when u enter a nice victorian mansion and the nice owner treats you to a sumptous meal and a nice bed, then u wake up in the night to discover that you've been sleeping on a cobwebbed bed, vomit out cockroaches you've eaten just now, and that all the people in the freaking mansion are ghosts or vampires.

...and now, you have to escape from these spectres.

Returning back to school

Just revamped the blog again!!

added a separate column for the blog song and the lyrics to it. have a look man.

sien. have to return to school again. timetable seems something like sem 1:

Monday: lecture day. all the way from 0800-1400
Tuesday: slacker day. stuff from 1100-1800
Wed: practical day. pratical from 0900-1800. DAMN SHACK.
Thu: lecture day. almost same as monday but until 1600
Fri: slacker day. stuff from 1200-1800.

ok la. workload is damn heavy now. six modules. i dunno whether can i take it or not.

also, not staying in hall anymore. damn sien. expenditure i guess reduced since meals are taken care of by parents. but still sien la.
thought of staying at home just turns me off. not that i enjoy staying at hall either. i prefer staying in a one-room flat. haha.
with my organ and keyboard and guitar and computers. a few shelves with my books, a desk and a pot in the area. with a toilet as annexe.
maybe i'll consider pgp. but it stinks

still got chingay every tues and thurs. night practice somemore. will be damn shacked. hope it ends soon or i will sustain some @###$ injury.

must immerse myself in fresh music. i'm getting hypotonic.

The week before school reopens

Sunday (1/1/06) - New Year's Day. spent my morning lying in ngee ann city lying among chiobus and vomit, drunk. spent the afternoon sleeping. spent the night msning.

Monday (2/1/06) - Day after New Year's. spent my morning sleeping, my afternoon at wang's place talking rubbish, and nite with victor, zw, bx, yt, alvin for a "light gathering".

7pm - pastamania at plaza singapura b2.
9pm - drinking at some bar in raffles city. forgot the name. nice ambience for drinking and talking cock, which was the main activity since cards were not allowed inside.
i had a singapore sling to be on the safe side and together we ordered 6 shots of alcohol to be shared amongst ourselves. got a bit drunk, haha, but still in full control of my surroundings.
11pm - found ourselves at some kopitiam opposite SMU. played bridge. think yt and zw were a bit drunk.. haha couldn't play properly. i ordered a durian chendol and was in the middle of eating it when vic mentioned "dun eat durian after drinking alcohol". i finished the thing anyway.
12:30am - i and victor walked to somerset to catch the 174M. thing is, there was no 174M cos it's a public holiday!!! god damn. hailed a taxi.
got home about $30+++ poorer.

Tuesday (3/1/06) filming the dance crew at 1pm, followed by dance later at 5pm till 8pm. even treated them to lunch. ha. set me back by another $30 poorer. sienz. ok but had fun. initially i wanted to strangle my smg crew of 4 for totally pang sehing me to film (leader had something on, one guy had IHG match, one gal will be late and eventually didnt come). still pissed off at the thought of it. thank god i had louie and winson who knew how to operate the camera. although i think what we shot, couldn't pass for anything that i wanted.
dance practice was VERY tiring. could feel my joints coming apart. finale dance is also coming apart... its like after the heavy sequence of acting and stunts still call me to dance. freaking shag.

how i wish that chingay practice will end after nathan sees it, someone comes up to him and say "Your Excellency this is the team from NUS" then he looks in our direction, sees jingwen or grace or darius or aaron then says "mmm. very good. whats next?"

and i am so scared that i will fit on stage. just now while taking a nap i was dreaming that we were dancing the finale dance then halfway my eyes can't see anything, the music keeps repeating over and over again in my mind, i fall to the floor writhing. thank god i managed to "break away" from the dream and wake up.

Recap: 2005

Jan-Feb: still stuck in army. no more teaching tuition. life is getting slacker - there's nice movies to watch by the medics and not much work.

March: ws and edwin ORDed. started to go swimming with them whenever time permits.

April: clear leave.

05/05/05: Day of Getting Pink IC.

May - August: slacking with Leo, Ed, WS. sometimes shunji. man, i love those days, we'd stalk the streets of Orchard almost every day and watch movie once every week. other days swim.

June: Sheares Exposure Camp. One of the best camps i attended.

Late June: Pharmacy Camp.

Late July-August: Sheares Orientation and Week 0.

August: honeymoon month, getting to know the people from hall and people from pharmacy. torn between the two groups, dunno which one more to hang out with..

September: heat getting on. somewhere in the month was tri-fac bash (?)

October: heat intensifying with mad rushes for CA2.

November: heat reaching a zenith with everyone preparing for exams at almost every day of the month.

Early December: pharmacy chalet! organised by me. also got my 21st birthday bash. yay!!

December: got cheated by jingwen to join the sheares chingay dance. still in it till febuary. tired, shagged, but getting fitter ( i hope).

it comes to light that i haven't really done very much. haha... who cares anyway

New Year Resolutions...

1) Compose a piece of music by this year. (hopefully many many pieces of music)

2) Get those muscles in shape and zap that tummy.

3) Maintain CAP.

4) Know the whole pharmacy cohort.

5) More outdoor sports (like cycling and rollerblading)

6) Get drunk - DONE 1/1/06

7) Do a lifesaver course.

8) Reduce seizures per year to less than one.

9) Get a girl friend.

10) Stop acting (and dressing) like a child.

Happy New Year!!

1. New Year's Eve

Received an sms from jevin at 8pm, "hey r u going anywhere later??" so somehow we got victor too and by 9:15pm the 3 of us were at jurong east mrt station. took the train to orchard.

reached around 10pm. jevin wanted a drink, so we headed to paragon's Starbucks to have some... coffee. victor recommended the peppermint mocha, which costs $6.80. damn ex, but well worth the price i think. very sweet.
slacked there until about closing time which was 11:40pm, having men's talk and snapping photos.

2. New Year

jevin still felt thirsty, so we went to the 7-11 which was the only store open in paragon at that hour. by this time the departmental stores' entrances were being blockaded by security guards and policemen. anyway jevin got some vodka orange, vic got long island tea and i got a Carlsberg. then we squeezed amongst the crowds watching innocent bystanders being sprayed with by foam.

the foam people come in groups of four and five, there were the hardcore people who would be out for war and sprayed... and sprayed.

Didn't know there were so many... dark people around in orchard. damn, the ratio was probably 1:1 around 12am, and 2:1 (2 dark people to others) at 1am.

we chilled for a while at paragon having our drinks, then crossed over to ngee ann city where we stood on one of the pedestals watching the throngs of partygoers move past and spotting the occasional chio bu hanging on their boyfriend's shoulders. also present was the (not-so) occasional person (usually an ah neh) being caught by the police. dunno for what, maybe harrassment.

ha. serve them right for being so irritating to spray chiobus. think that sparked off equally spirited responses from their boyfriends, who sprayed them back. so we can have groups of ah nehs and punks spraying each other with loads of foam. damn interesting to watch.. haha.

the "mat"s (malay punks) were more courteous with their foam, they only sprayed it on their brethern. not too bad. irritating were those assholes who just bought a can for fun, then aimed the aerosol in the air and "anyhow shoot". kenaed some "collateral damage".

3. The Bash

1am came and soon the streets of Orchard were being emptied out, leaving only, u guessed it, the ah nehs. Reason? cos most of the kuaier people were heading home after getting their countdown underway. then the rest, usually including those people dressed to kill and ladies dressed to seduce, were heading for the clubs or otherwise - the most visible bash in orchard - this open air dance floor that Dawn was promoting on msn.

about 1am we were also preparing to go home.. but this promoter came out of nowhere and said, "wanna go inside (the bash)? free entry!!"

WOW!! free entry sia!! entry costs $35 btw. quite a deal.

then when we reached the entry point, they said we had to buy a drink, at $10. And they have 1 for 1 offer on drinks so one drink is $5 ea. not too bad...

then jevin was quite hesitant about going inside cos he made a new year resolution not to go clubbing anymore!! haha so i and victor stayed around the reception area and "persuaded" him to go in.. haha made more tempting with every sexily-dressed girl that walked past us to go into the party...

after much persuasion.. he finally relented... hehe so three young guys went in to mingle amongst the throngs of chiobus!! woo hoo!!

4. Knock out

first drink i took was a vodka orange. ok the three of us downed the poison quickly and went to the dance floor. we were in heaven, haha...

about 15-20mins into the party i couldn't stand the flashing lights. the music was ok, it was the loudness in any club. but there were too many lights coming from different directions. i couldn't find a spot on the dance floor without any lights - a prerequisite for my survival there.

ok quitted the area and went somewhere around the makeshift toilet area to "let my eyes rest". what crap. saw alot of couples there... esp the ladies who were dressed to kill. arrrggghhhh couldn't stand it anymore.

grrr, what am i doing in a bash, not dancing, and without someone some female companionship?! felt damn buay song, went to get the remaining two drinks of bourbon coke.

sat by myself drinking the "coke-with-medicine-taste". very fast, it was gone. tot about all my female friends, wished i could have someone to talk to right now, tot about her, if she would be at my side like all the rest here it would be great, tot about how vic and jevin were having new-found fun inside with the gals...

a zillion thoughts flashed through my mind, with it, many zillion thoughts more. looked over at the next bench and saw the couple smooching after a good workout on the dance floor. damn then asked why i'm not on the dance floor instead being resigned to watch people from afar...

haha. maybe god gave me epilepsy so that i could avoid dance floors, so that i would not mix with all those "bu-san-bu-si" girls and find a "good" gal... but all the good gals nowadays also pia dance floors so what's the point haha. anyway they said that if u go for relationships during clubbing wun last long anyway.

but then... desire lurks at every moment... the devil lures constantly... haha. whatever.

after the first bourbon coke, ok i thought, well should i get on with another bourbon coke or give the drink to the guys? well damn, lets get the second cup to jev and vic, then found out, oh shit, i can't control my limbs. can't walk straight. swimming. the three dimensions of the world has suddenly taken on an amorphous form.

managed to hobble my way over to the steps of ngee ann city. when i wanted to sit down, "pom!" and my bottom crashed onto the hard stone, spilling some of the drink in my hand. then by reflex, by body straightened and the next thing i know, i was looking at the night sky. oddly though, the world still seems clear, even though i feel semi-paralysed.

i dunno how many chiobus walked past me before victor and jevin came to my rescue (i smsed them: hey come help, i'm drunk). though after making sure i was ok they went back to the dance floor again.. haiz..

could not stand the blaring music and glaring lights, so by 3am i retreated to somewhere near the main entrance of ngee ann city, where the organisers were letting people in. amazingly a kind soul from one of them asked me "are you ok?" i didn't even talk, just hand-signaled back to him...

saw a few more thousand chiobus walked past, most of them in full consciousness, a few in a druken stupor like me, as i sat immobilised near the entrance. hmm. saw a grossly fat guy (sheikh haikel??) with some ohmygodandsupersexydressedinsolittle chio dancers after they have finished their gig as they prepared to walk out of the complex. wooooo hoooooooo!!!

about 3:45 am victor and jevin came for me again... this time we quitted the place, thank god. though they seemed a bit reluctant.. haha

went to the nearest macs and bought a large milo. jevin said the reason i got so drunk is because i drunk beer first, "the efferverscence is absorbed faster than liquid alcohol", guess the alcohol molecules must have diffused into the gas layer and went into my stomach at lightning speed.

took taxi home. first signs of hangover are beginning to take over: headache, nausea, soberness. cursed all the alcohol molecules that had crossed the blood-brain barrier and were wreaking havoc, covering the gyri and stuck in the sulci of my cerebral cortex. everything seems very solid, but i still feel abit paralysed.

reached home at 4:45am. drunk water and tried to sleep, but then woke up and puked. i shall not describe the mess in the toilet bowl, just to say it reeked of bourbon coke. felt better. climbed into bed and slept at 5:15 am.

happy new year, folks.