What A Poor Pharmacist
for a weary soul like mine

Currently Playing:
Tears
by X-Japan

Lyrics

doko ni yukebaii
anata to hanarete
ima wa sugisatta
toki ni toikakete

nagasugita yoru ni
tabidachi wo yume mita
ikoku no sora mitsumete
kodokuwo dakishimete

nanagareru namida wo
toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no
toiki wo kanjite
dry your tears with love
dry your tears with love

Loneliness, your silent whisper
Fills a river of tears through the night
Memory, you never let me cry
And you, you never said goodbye

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But I'd never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone

Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting, fades away
Alive within your beatless heart

dry your tears with love
dry your tears with love

nanagareru namida wo
toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no
aoi bara ni kaete

dry your tears with love
dry your tears with love

nanagareru namida wo
toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no
toiki wo kanjite

dry your tears with love
dry your tears with love
dry your tears with love
dry your tears with love



Friday, April 01, 2005


The NKF show

woke up at 9am today... as usual. but felt damn sleepy so went to sleep again until 10:45... PIG

now... i'm watching the 9pm show on channel 8...

special mention to the role played by joanne peh... haha other than that she's cute and she looks like... haiz~
ok, now her character is skipping kidney dialysis, running away from the NKF centre when the nurses aren't looking, going to a 7-eleven to binge on potato chips and water (according to the show they cannot drink more than 500ml/day, probably due to osmotic considerations?) then the ah long boy-friend spots her and they somehow get to this parapet thing, with her eating chips and drinking water, and the ah long trying his best to comfort her, then dropping the bombshell "i'll donate one of my kidneys to my ah ma and one to you when i die"

reminds me of the time when i first got epilepsy: first conscious reaction: denial. In secondary school i was pretty ok, when things were still fine: i was still doing well in school, in the first class. but in jc, i was severely lacking behind, getting Es and Fs in the first year. And headaches... during lectures i had to quit the LT due to "disturbances". The "tantrums", as my dad calls it, followed. Pillows flew over the place. Up till today, i have been unable to judge for myself, whether this is normal behaviour.

Yes, i denied that i had epilepsy. For life. Which means i have to stay on a lifetime dosing regimen of antiepileptics for life. And antiepileptics, they all have adverse side effects... e.g. the drug that i'm taking now, carbamazepine, presents with diplopia (double vision), ADH (anti-diuretic hormone??) ataxia (walk like drunks), stomach problems, nystagmus and drowsiness and folate vitamin d deficiency (courtesy of Yew sen). Although i do not feel it now, maybe later? And... there's the initial compliance problem: sometimes i forget to take the medicine, be it the morning dose (after i wake up) or the 6pm dose.

And with diet, like in the show: there are stuff that i cannot take, for they are believed to cause convulsions, e.g. chocolate bar. coffee. mutton, beef. briyani. haiz~ yum yum but what to do? i think it has something to do with increasing the frequency of impusles upon the brain, so forget it la. Need enough sleep too: more than 5-6 hours in the night: or wake up with headaches and increased occurance of auras ("sensations"). No more burning of midnight oil. Also, no bright lights, and no flashing lights. No disco, no clubbing. Can't play music for too long either. Not too much camera flashing either.

In the light of all this, it seems bleak... Will i complete my degree? will i get a girlfriend who can tolerate my epilepsy, who can take care of a disabled? for life? I feel quite bad actually for asking my friends to take care of me - waiseng "eh, do CPR on me ok if i go down" and leonard. They could have found better friends. And her... maybe she left me because of... well, that's another story.

But as in the show, the nurse at the dialysis centre scolded joanne peh (fei fei) for running away from the dialysis centre. Feifei replied, "then put me off dialysis! the needles are so painful" or something. Then the nurse said, "what about your mother whos been crying for you?"

I still have good friends, like leonard, waiseng, yewsen, wang, yanzhang, and many more. I look at other people suffering in hospital: epileptics who have lost most of their daily function, and other people with tubes all over them, with parents crying, without parents crying. And i feel that i have got a better deal, than them.



Dispense-A-Dream '07
In a passing moment
9:29 pm

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About Myself
Name: Tan Yong Qiang
Birthday: 19 Nov 1984
Primary profession: Student in NUS Pharmacy
Secondary profession: Audiophile
email: whyqueue@hotmail.com

Where I Came From
Primary Sch: Fuhua Primary, 1991-1996; 1H-4H, 5B, 6B
Secondary Sch: Commonwealth Sec, 1997-2000: 1B, 2B, 3S1, 4S1
Junior College: National JC, 2001-2002, 01S25, 01S29
National Service: Singapore Armed Forces, Army, 6th Division, Jan 2003-May 2005
Tertiary: National University of Singapore, Aug 2005-Present

Character
Likes having fun. Being with friends. Listening to music.
Introverted if don't know u well
A person with epilepsy.
Dreamer.
Problem-solver.
Hesitant and procrastinating.
Pulling up my CAP

Wish List
Make it through Pharmacy course
To be happy every moment of my life
Take care of myself
To be a better man

-Words from 21st Birthday-
whyqueue@21yo

-Credits-
Design

-Recollections-
February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006

-Rubbish Bin-

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