troubled soul

woke up today reluctantly after sleeping for a mere 6h. packed my bag for the day: singlet + shorts for dance and one extra black singlet. took No. 3 shoes. waterbottle and mp3 player. scramed for the bus.

Objective #1: pack bag. completed.

wore: yellow t-shirt (maui and sons), black (smooth feel) pants, sports shoes. damn fugly.

went to play with the children at NUH's Children Clinic from 10am-12pm. Damn fun. We were enjoying ourselves, the volunteers and the children. Brings me back to when i was a kid. I am still a kid, anyway.. haha. 2 new volunteers, xiuting (yr 1 pharm) and ??? (???). whoops. forgot name. also one of the 07 male seniors were there too (think it was guoping. yay remembered name).

Objective #2: volunteer. completed. left 1240 from NUH.

took 197 to je library and asked mum to fetch me to imm where i bought 2 black shirts for $70, the only item that i didn't have in my mobile wardrobe (i.e. my bag) for today, for the coming choir carolling. lunch was two double cheeseburgers, then i rushed to sheares hall for SCD prac. heng didn't late. stupid rule set by jingwen.

Objective #3: buy shirts. completed.

the 80kg mastodon stomps around like a tauren chieftain, stunning the crap of all the nearby dancers of one radius. ok. enough crap. i feel that my muscles don't obey much. damn impressed with fang xi and the other more accomplished dancers while taking a dig at myself. wanna play the piano in the dance room...

Objective #4: SCD. completed.

feeling tired and.. more tired after stepping out of the multipurpose hall by 1830 hours. half an hour to... let me see. tiong bahru plaza? called dad to fetch me there. but then.. haiz dunno alot of things went through my head then.. didn't even bother to change to all-black uniform for choir carolling. or whether was it even worth the trouble, i mean i could take a taxi straight to TB plaza, it's not very far from SH. but whether will there be wonderful crowd of welcoming fellow choir members waiting there, or a crowd of people obvlious to my presence, that is something i am uncertain. or certain? will there be a silver tie for me like for everyone else?

i am a lousy singer, that is one thing i admit, i really suck. joined the choir just because no other cultural group would accept me, yes. got assigned to tenor but can't hit the high notes, more comfortable with bass singing though but can't hit the low notes. during practice, the tenors keep coming and changing, and they all give me that "unfriendly" presence. maybe it's because i echo it back, but the end result is that not much talking was done except in the area of work. every choir practice i would just be my own loner, singing just to lend support to the melody, then pulling out asap once the whole thing was over, like a carefully planned military operation.

i am just one voice, a silent voice in a sea of unknowns. and i feel damn tired of the masks that i'm wearing.

ah wad da fug. no silver tie for me.

my dad arrived and i told him to drive me home, i am too tired.

Objective #5: christmas carolling @ tiong bahru plaza: aborted.