Chill out without chill

went cineleisure to sing k-box today. edwin's organising, thought alot of people would be going so dressed a bit more stylishly.. haha. went in the jacket the pharm dudes got for me and jeans, i must say i attracted a hell lot of looks from bashful schoolgirls, suspicious uncles and NCC people, some aunties maybe. either thought i am damn suave, looks like a terrorist, or looks like bae young jun. (haha the last part i made up myself).

think i look like a terrorist cos i kept fiddling with my mp3 player which was at waist level. and the pouch looks damn big.. about 15cm x 7cm x5cm. haha..

anyway took the train to orchard and walked to cineleisure. then found out the stark truth... only edwin and tiongphew were there!!! arrghh. now i have to sing with two guys!!! it's not so fun singing with two guys!!! haiz. think all the gals pang sehed edwin.. dress so nice for wad?? felt like pangsehing them on the spot but no la, still went. after all didn't sing with edwin before.

tell u the truth, its no fun singing with one tenor one bass. especially when u hit the female songs or the duets. alot of songs i have to sing falsetto!! and its no joke. otherwise the songs will sound really low. you really stretch your larynx that way.. haiz. tiring stuff. muifong and xuanwei etc why aren't u there!! arrghh.

about leaving time, the waiter came into the room and asked us to go to the main waiting area and played zhong ji mi ma (guess the number). quite lame cos when my turn came i only had one number left to guess, so i just said "42" and then i went into second round (no u dun do a forfeit like the wu zong xian version.) then they told us to throw 3 sixes with a dice. the fastest person who can do this will be the winner. quite lame actually. for some unknown reason, i did 3 sixes damn easily.

i guess luck will be shining on those who are down in the dumps. well, it all balances up somehow.

my prize for my efforts: one single Chinese New Year disc. oh what the heck, at least it's original.

then left for dinner at around 6pm still feeling very down. think i today very off-form. waste money man, if off-form. doesn't get the purpose done. supposed to feel very hyped but instead left cine with shrugged shoulders.

edwin and tiongphew left for dinner. wanted to eat with them at marche but thought otherwise.
firstly: it was too expensive. i drew money 2-3 times this week liao. horrible.
secondly: felt damn tired. singing is really shag.
thirdly: i got craving for burger king at cineleisure. (haha sorry guys, esp those who thought i would be going. didn't mean to pangseh everyone of you.)

ate BK at cine. loved taste of the rendang double there. it was the first thing that made me feel better after all these angst had been released. upsized the meal, it felt like good times all over again.

took 190 to Bukit Panjang where wang lived. fell asleep on the way. damn caught myself drooling in public.. eeeech. spent time watching tv, chatting, and checking my modules on ivle. damn kena outbidded for principles of econs (EC1301). another problem, another day. felt like playing games but somehow we just chatted.

think wang is a great buddy to have. anytime i feel down i'll just call him (he'll be playing dota or some other crap) and say, "eh can i go over for a while" and he'll know what happened. offers me solitude and some person to talk to, to vent all my anger out (verbally). of course with the appropriate vulgarities, we just let'em fly. middle fingers start pointing everywhere. after the "vomiting" it always makes me feel better.. his place is always ready for a stayover (read: the floor). i've been to his house so many times that i probably dun need much approval from his mum (he just needs to tell her and i can stay). anytime the tension in the house gets too excessive, its 176 to his house. anytime i need someone to talk to, its his house.

thanks bro.

yet at his place i'm still dogged by smg people. supposed to go back at 1800 hours to edit the clip that i've produced. ignored their smses. then at wang's place, they called me so i had no choice (the phone was ringing non-stop) so i had to answer the call.

i guess, somehow or rather, all this shit has gotta end sometime. i can't go on rebelling forever. although the devil in me says "why should u listen to him?? after all u dun stay in hall anymore!! you should enjoy your last few days of holidays!!"

but i feel like, damn this has gotta end. otherwise i will continue to feel down. down that i'm rejecting them. i'm rejecting something i wanted to do in the beginning. the angel in me also says "dun run away from what you must do in the end... have courage. if you don't do it, then someone will have to do it. and that someone will blame you. which is not what u want right??"

haiz. guess the angel's talk makes more sense (and has a better ending).

guess i'm agreeable to fliming sepak takraw on sunday and helping with the editing. i just want this madness to end. to quote clement: "if you don't like a job, you go in and do it half-f**ked, that's the SAF way."

how true. like what wang said, just leave the darn camera there and listen to mp3 music while (in a positive light) sun-tanning. dun even wanna see the balls flying around. then just position the cam at certain random angles and call it a day. when asked, say that's "artistic impressions".

think i'll cut my hair soon. shu ying (girl from SCD) told me i look like a year 3!! high time to cut it too. it looks unsightly and uncomfortable. no ponytail for me. sighz.

as they say the phoenix rises from the ashes... like the Blood Mage's Phoenix, when it's alive and kicking it is a formidable opponent capable of spewing out hot fire but when it expires to form its egg, it is at its most vulnerable. at this most vulnerable point in time it requires the protection of the other units to ensure its survival. once the timer is up it rises from the ashes and becomes a new phoenix, as powerful as before.

i believe everyone goes down once in a while. when they do so, they require the support of their closest friends to let them recover so that they can return to their original status.