Lion's Befrienders

Went for this thing called Lion's Befrienders' in the morning. It is something organised by rotaract club, so as bhbh2 members, we are encouraged (?) to take part in it. So we went to this old folks centre in Holland V (just next to the shops where we so frequently go).

Never did i know in HV that they had those one or two room flats with old folks staying in them. Every week this organisation called Lion's Befrienders (i think) asks these old folks down to interact with young people like us, chat, and have activities, and a good meal.

Our programme was simple: sing 04 x chinese new year songs (why did nuan xin pick 04 x songs which i, an audiophile, have never even heard of?!?! can pick some songs which everybody knows at least), interact with the old folks with activities such as cards, chess etc (no mahjong, haha), then get out of there, for i needed time to prepare for Operation Valentine, planned to go taka to check things out.

ok.. so our guests came in at about 1100... there was this guy who was sitting in the front so i decided to try my luck and approach him, since the others were already starting.

he was a queer man of 90, spoke english (i tot all old folks spoke chinese or dialect! hmm.. interesting) and malay and hailed from acs (barker). didn't like chinese and (hokkien?) people very much cos they were "crude". so he refuses to speak to these people, as what he said (ok he's quite a loner with the other old folks). can't reveal much due to confidentiality, but one thing that struck me was that at 90, he had this "waiting to die" mentality, which i feel it was quite sad. and how the hell am i gonna talk him out of it?

he said something like "old already, can't walk (or something), everyday i have a smoke, drink coffee, and wait to die." damn freaking sad man.

we didn't talk much, only superficial stuff like "have you eaten" kind of questions. then later jingwen came and despite her feminine charm failed to swoon the old guy over. so i and jingwen racked our brains and tried to sustain the conversation for a few more qns, then in the end we gave up, and excused ourselves. however he did invite both of us to his house though. mus be pretty lonely.

i joined another guy playing chinese chess but as i was halfway through the game i could see the 90yo guy looking at me intently. he had no one with him to talk to. sighz. i really wanted to talk to him but the conversation can't really be sustained.

btw, this guy i was playing chess with was excellent!! guess he should be 60-70 yo but for all the guys here +20 yrs to their apparent age man. you can't really tell. he said he hasn't been playing chess for a long time, but i think he's bluffing, he almost won me (but i won him in the end... by accident). though we didn't play very seriously, we were still taking back moves and both of us reminded each other of blundering.

to tell you the truth man, he is GOOD. or maybe i had degraded cos after the game i presented with a headache lol.

after the lunch was served. but then jw saw the 90yo guy leaving with louis so jw and i went together with him to his house. wasnt very far away, but probably an effort to the old guy. later his maid came and accompanied us.

his flat had lift access to every floor. on coming out into the main corridor, something struck me: the lonely, desolated corridors of those pre-80s hongkong flats (also those you find in ghost movies like The Eye). dark. deserted. narrow. leading off to one-room alcoves.

however, his room was surprisingly quite tidy (prob due to maid). had a picture of him in better days, a nice bed, and a table with a telephone. in one corner was a small kitchen and toilet.

the old gentlemen played the kind host and invited louis, jw and me into his flat. served coffee to 3 of us. he said some stuff but the most memorable was: "nice and kind people i invite to my house, unkind people i dun invite to my house." muz have seen scores of unkind people throughout his life.

one of these volunteer workers came along and told the 3 of us his story (confidential) at this point, my heart went out to him.

there are probably many other old folks in singapore who face the same problem - living by themselves, being dumped by the younger generation for some reason. at this final stretch of life, instead of living happily and in bliss and respect, they have to depend on social services for the rest of their life and total strangers, unrelated by blood to help them. its so sad that such veterans of life itself should be made to eke out their days in such an unhonoured manner.

with the growing ageing population, more and more of this problem will surface. and if no one cares about them now. who will care about the next ageing generation?