Why Do It??

Went to setup matric fair booth for EML on sunday.
Went to recce NUS today (monday) in the afternoon for a game to be played in FOW
Went to chacha practice at night at SMU.

Why do it? Why bother?

EML - i dun have any friends there. why be the exco? why carry on.
the game - just a minor detail, why do i need to go to such lengths to get the game going?
chacha - just declared epileptic, drawing up contingency plans. furthermore i suck at it. no guys from my cohort doing rag dance.

Whats the purpose of doing these?

Is it to prove that an epileptic can do all the things, even more things, than a normal person?
Is it to find someone to get hitched to such that i can finally move on with life?
Is it to have fun?

What happened to all those marvellous ideals that surfaced in all their brillance, only to vanish when they are most needed?

really.

what do i want? like a friend of mine said when she looked through my proposal for the FOW game. state your objectives clearly before u plunge into anything!

can't.

tired.

i wish i could just dig a hole and vanish, together with those marvellous ideals of mine. retreat to my little corner in the library where no one can find me, and assimilate into the legions of muggers who treat NUS as a giant classroom.

the very legions that i've worked and spoken against.

: come here, have lessons, go back : repeat until graduation. no ad lib.

matric fair tmr, helping out EML. another day wasted for rag dance practice. interview with tuition agency halfway. the juniors will be matriculating.

kbox on wed. not as enthusiastic as i was one or two weeks back though. sometimes i also question the idea of spending cash for 4 hours when u have banzou.com.

even on msn, there isn't much people to speak with. tired.

i need to say no.