Time to say goodbye...

Well this is the 300th entry of this blog, if you've read this much, i sincerely thank you.. but most likely you wun.. haha

anyway, i've decided to create a new blog, its on www.whyqueue2.blogspot.com.
please modify your urls accordingly... thanks.

yup it's a new academic year and sorts, lets have a new blog! =)

cheers to the poor pharmacist! haha

The next lap

School starts tommorow... hafta print my notes later on pharmacy law.

The next 4.5 months will probably revolve around:

Lessons:
pr2101 - dosage form design
pr2102 - pharm law
pr2103 - pharmacostatistics
gek2022 - geisha, samurai and yongqiang as self or other
bsp1005 - managerial economics

wonder why i'm taking GSY (geisha, samurai, yongqiang) as my gem. i'm bound to s/u it.
cors sucks.
maybe leonard was right, med and dent students pay $17k to actually get out of the freaking cors system. i pay about $5k a year only.

i feel like taking ec1301, principles of economics after cons gave the negative feedback on bsp1005. it sounds so suspicious - 1 point module, no one wants to take. must be hard.

Target: CAP of 4. sigh. sounds achievable, yet again, not so.

CCAs:
pharm soc - pharmacy camp for jc kids. lets play with the "nj buggers".. hehe. maybe something for emed. or another ad-hoc project.

nvac - signed up for singapore epileptic foundation and some other volunteer (something like sai sithya) to be a musician at the charity fiesta. they haven't got back to me yet. wonder will i have the courage and time to accept them once they do. volunteerism, for all its benevolent thoughts, sometimes feels like a walk into a dark void when you have no friends accompanying you.
no other nvac projects this sem that require long-time commitment.

rotaract club - bhbh3 is definitely out of the way. i'm so sorry...

eml - really feel like quitting eml now cos there's not a friend there and i dun really click with the people there. no time to compose any music now either since there's no demand. yet still, i'm exco, forced into a position that i didn't bid for, just because there's only 2 members in my batch.
sick of it.

ccas that i'm floating around / other new ccas - forget it. i'll remain floating around. if you haven't aroused my interest so far, you probably never will.

courses:
no first-aid course, no windsurfing course, no wakeboarding course, no chacha course, no aerobics course.

work:
still looking for tuition assignments / part-time jobs. may consider joining ucc as a usher like shannon and victor. i'm really spending too much.
yet, where is the balance between work, and real work?

relationships:
....

sigh.. all this, just to maintain my CAP. getting into mugger-bugger mode from now onwards.

Rag Day...

Rag day, as usual, began one night before the actual event. Everyone arrived on Fri, went through the last day of FOW (till 1130), then immediately went for lunch then it was the last session of practice.

We practiced until 6-7pm before breaking off. Some headed back to their hostel rooms to shower, some went back to gather stuff, others simply showered in block S4 (betcha didn't know there was a shower facility there).

I'd really have to thank jielin (my boss) for allowing me to go back and get some sleep from 9pm onwards. Heard the remaining fellas who spent the night in LT20 didn't get much sleep - some slept at midnight, only to be roused awake at 3am-4am for makeup, for the pre-judging which was at 6am.

The backdrop people did not get any rest at all, shifting the backdrop (some background with stars and painted characters) under cover of night. Reminds me of last year when i was doing it for sheares rag, when i and 7 other guys jagaed the @#$% heavy bell down, up, and down the slopes of NUS like a funeral cortege only to be refused entry at the entrance to SRC cos we were too early.

President Nathan must feel proud to see all this - about one thousand people sacrificing so much to put up this show, and this is only the rag segment.

Heh~ i woke up at 0515, then asked dad to fetch me to LT20 where they were gathered. Not too bad. Got makeup and breakfast. Waited for the pre-judging fellas to come back at 0730, then we went to the stadium at SRC at about 0830, full dress. The guys were wearing tin-soldier costumes with FF7 buster-swords (think: cloud strife) whereas the cheerleading gals had tank-tops and skirts (one long one removable, one shorter one for cheerleading) with chinese dance fans and a whole palette of makeup; the chacha girls were dressed in tubes with "skirts that flew in the wind" and wore heels. fabulous.

More warm-up then we joined the backdrop team on the track at about 1000. We then waited for our turn. About 1045, just before Law and then, our performance, the President made his way in. not too bad, seeing him in the flesh. feels like ndp last week. ha.

our performance came in at 1053 hours. well i could safely say, the performance was one of my best, i mean i had much worser performances before; but for this, everything fell like clockwork. may not be impressive, but it was smooth. the intro, the fairy segment, the flirty dance, the cheerleading with stunts (stunts were successful), the chacha segment, the finale - all good.

it was a good five minutes on stage, and pharmacy finally broke its 25-year silence for rag.

good job guys!

Le Femme Overpossesive

here are two pages from one of my good friend's websites, www.tucksombong.blogspot.com.

talks about the overly-possesive feminine nature in a relationship.

http://tucksombong.blogspot.com/2006/08/disillusionment-lol-ive-been-listening.html

http://tucksombong.blogspot.com/2006/08/reporting-strength-sound-of-phone.html

lol enjoy. wonder for all the girls in the world, how many are like that? haha.

The day before rag

1 month of practice.
Countless visits to SMU for practices. At night. Stretching for long hours, every day.
Countless re-runs of dance moves in the head.
Countless steps taken, from learning, to perfecting the dance by oneself, then with all dancers, then with all the rag people.

Everything will be revealed in that 5-7 mins time.

Introduction March.
Fairy Moves.
Carmen Girls.
Cheerleading and stunts.
Chacha.
Finale.

We will make it. I will make it.

Crash and burn

Sometimes i just wanna ignore the four walls around me and shout out loud, where my voice echoes out in that lonely world.

Crash And Burn

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

I know you feel
like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief
and people can be so cold

When darkness is upon your door, and
you feel like you can't take anymore...

Let me be the one you call
If you jump, I'll break your fall
Lift you up, and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash,
then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head

When hopes and dreams are far away, and
You feel like you can't face the day...

Repeat Chorus

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again

Repeat Verse 1

Repeat Chorus

Happy Birthday Singapore!

well. i'm not very patriotic when i'm normal. haha but when was i normal

anyway today was a good rest, initially wanted to go wang's house and play comp games but too lazy. woke up, first thing to do was the CORS system.

yeah i know watching the cors like a hawk isn't gonna be very useful, after all it's during close bidding when everyone's blind to the "next successful minimum bid" then the action gets heated up. yeah. but i still feel an urge to see.

i have two modules to bid this semester, both using my general account which has 400 pts.

one of them maybe a gem - gem2900, understanding uncertainity and statistical thinking. it's scary - today morning it was 26 (minimum bid), afternoon it shot up to 34-35, then now it's 41. it had started at 2.

the thing is, the people who wanted this module aren't increasing very much either - it's 360 people taking out of a quota of 300. this leaves me to reckon, that those "Latecomers" or so to speak, just dump as many points as they want. or existing people just up their bid like i do.

it's scary - tomorrow, when bidding closes, it might shoot up to 100 points if i'm lucky, and 300 if i'm not. which will present another problem in itself - where to find another gem module. or maybe not to take at all. i'm considering constance's suggestion of samurai, geisha and yakuza as self or another, a totally sucky module.

the other dilemma i have is between bsp1005 (managerial economics) and it1001 (introduction to computing). the former is business-related, and it's applicable (hopefully). mainly it levies on the knowledge i gained from mkt1003, and choon han, jason and jevin are taking it. and it's one point.

the latter is currently 21 points, relatively easier, well sorta applicable... and i've got jw, cuiqin, and ??? taking it. yeah.

sigh.

***

watched The Rock in the afternoon - a patriotic movie. (well it's shown on local tv network channel 5.) basically about a mutiny of US soldiers threatening to launch biological weapons at civilians, holding hostages unless the US administration gives $100 mil to them. stars nicholas cage and sean connery.

well any guy will love a movie with guns blazing, this is one of them. prob reminds them of army days. the acting was perfect. one of their lines - as epitomised by my good friend yanzhang when the movie was just launched:

(when the president decided to send in the air strike and blow the island where the soldiers were hiding to bits)

President:
These past few hours have been the longest, darkest of my life.
This is when you wish the buck did not stop here.
A balance between two tragedies.
On one hand the fate of a million civilians.
On the other, 81 hostages.
That American boys have paid the price of that neglect in blood, is equally real, and equally tragic.
We are at war with terror.
Fighting a war means casualties.
This is the= worst call I've ever had to make.
Air strike approved.

So that's where he got that from.. haha

The last week of the only holidays I will ever have in my entire working career

C'mon...

A quick look back:

May 3 - May 15: primary stage of planning for FOC. quite fun.
May 15 - Jun 1: YIP trip to philippines. fun. enriching.
Jun 2 - Jun 27: secondary stage of planning for FOC, dry runs. felt a bit lost at sometimes.
Jun 26 - Jun 29: nvac camp. their activities were interesting but i have yet to click with the people there. nvac people somehow are... different from the usual pharm people i know.
Jun 30 - Jul 2: final preparations for FOC
Jul 3 - Jul 6: FOC. gained many experience points but didn't had much fun, neither much interaction with the juniors.
Jul 10 - Jul 13: odac camp, helping yt under logistics. got a tan which refuses to subside to even today. odac people somehow are... different too. cooked milo using butane gas and mess tins. pitched tents. campfire. ubin. fun.
Jul 18 - Jul 19: cfa retreat, mingled with the excos of the various cfa groups as well as the cfa personnel. almost wanted to sell my soul. no thanks.
Jul 20 - Aug 13: involved in pharm rag dance. only first-hand interaction with the juniors and some seniors. originally only involved in chacha segment but later stretched to everything... sigh. practices almost daily.
Jul 29: charity fiesta: led a team (4 x sec 2 gals) around singapore. first OGL experience.
wanted to find a job in tuition too. but forget it, i'd rather concentrate on my studies...

***

it has been an excellent three months.

i didn't go anywhere for fun - genting, thailand, etc (well philippines, if u consider that). and somehow, i didn't get as much fun as i wanted, or compared to the last holidays.

and now it's back to hitting the books again. sigh.

Some things about CORS the year ones should know

What modules to choose:

a) no choice (i.e. core module) / you need it to fulfill something, e.g. a minor

b) because you like the module / you find the module interesting

c) because the module is cheap

d) because the module is popular / someone is taking with you / or a boyfriend is taking the module too

e) because the module is easy

How to bid:

Method 1: Wait until 30min-1hr before close bidding then look at the modules that you've chosen during round 2a (for pharm). Monitor every module.

When you get outbidded (when minimum bid > your bid) then you got three choices:

a) to raise the bid by 1 point or more than the lowest bid (but most likely you'll have to raise it again) - wise choice if u got enough points, and want that module desperately

b) dump all your remaining points into that module - wise choice if you got thousands of points, and want that module

c) withdraw and find other cheaper modules (another headache)

but remember for (a) and (b), for every point that you bid, be prepared to lose them.

How to find cheap modules

Modules are likely to be cheap (1 - 100 points) or affordable (100-400 points) if they are:

a) many vacancies - usually >100 should be quite good;

b) very unpopular - with tons of tests, projects, assignments, unfavourable lesson schedule (e.g. 6pm-9pm or saturdays), long hours, unfavourable (boring) study material, exam format is punishing (e.g. essays and more essays)

c) modules which require a certain prerequisite; usually meant for the students who are taking that major, e.g. sw1101e. or having a certain preclusion.

d) core modules or "compulsory modules like SS.

Tasmin Archer - Sleeping Satellite

This song was written for the space flights to the moon. Apparently the author wasn't very pleased with the space flights, and from the way he puts it, it seems like everyone is trying to rush to the moon (the sleeping satellite), and in doing so, waste alot of resources.

Chorus:
I blame you for the moonlit sky, and the dream that died, with the eagle's flight
I blame you for the moonlit nights, when I wonder why, are the seas still dry
Don't blame this sleeping satellite

Did we fly to the moon too soon?
Did we squander the chance?
In the rush of the race, the reason we chase is lost in romance
And still we try...
To justify the waste, for a taste of man's greatest adventure

Repeat Chorus

Have we lost what it takes to advance?
Have we peaked too soon?
If the world is so great, then why does it scream under a blue moon?
We wonder why...
If the earth's sacrificed, for the price of its greatest treasure

Repeat Chorus

And when we shoot for the stars, what a giant step
Have we got what it takes, to carry the weight, of this concept?
Or pass it by?
Like a shot in the dark, miss the mark with a sense of adventure

(Organ Bridge)
Don't blame this sleeping satellite

Repeat Chorus
Don't blame this sleeping satellite

Why Do It??

Went to setup matric fair booth for EML on sunday.
Went to recce NUS today (monday) in the afternoon for a game to be played in FOW
Went to chacha practice at night at SMU.

Why do it? Why bother?

EML - i dun have any friends there. why be the exco? why carry on.
the game - just a minor detail, why do i need to go to such lengths to get the game going?
chacha - just declared epileptic, drawing up contingency plans. furthermore i suck at it. no guys from my cohort doing rag dance.

Whats the purpose of doing these?

Is it to prove that an epileptic can do all the things, even more things, than a normal person?
Is it to find someone to get hitched to such that i can finally move on with life?
Is it to have fun?

What happened to all those marvellous ideals that surfaced in all their brillance, only to vanish when they are most needed?

really.

what do i want? like a friend of mine said when she looked through my proposal for the FOW game. state your objectives clearly before u plunge into anything!

can't.

tired.

i wish i could just dig a hole and vanish, together with those marvellous ideals of mine. retreat to my little corner in the library where no one can find me, and assimilate into the legions of muggers who treat NUS as a giant classroom.

the very legions that i've worked and spoken against.

: come here, have lessons, go back : repeat until graduation. no ad lib.

matric fair tmr, helping out EML. another day wasted for rag dance practice. interview with tuition agency halfway. the juniors will be matriculating.

kbox on wed. not as enthusiastic as i was one or two weeks back though. sometimes i also question the idea of spending cash for 4 hours when u have banzou.com.

even on msn, there isn't much people to speak with. tired.

i need to say no.

Rag Dance Song

I tot chacha was boring and for a generation that was not mine. But all this changed, chacha can still be hip.

This song is good, but hypnotic. Too many repeats.

Thalia - Pata pata

C'mon!

Sacude bien la cadera así pata pata
mueve todo lo que puedas, oh~!
sacude bien la cadera así para pata
mueve todolo que puedas, oh~!
y meneaba y meneaba así pata pata
y meneaba la cadera
y meneaba y meneaba y meneaba así pata pata
y meneaba la cadera


Echa palante echa patrás, vamos a bailar con Thalía,
si, pata patael dulce ritmo, que tiene sabor eléctrico
llegó la hora donde tú y yo, disfrutamos algo nuevo
dime si tu cuerpo siente, la corriente, esta caliento
mueve mueve, la cadera, si , para alante y para atrás
pata pata quieres gozar, pata pata vamos a bailar


Sacude bien la cadera así pata pata
mueve todo lo que puedas, oh~!
sacude bien la cadera así para pata
mueve todolo que puedas, oh~!
Sacude bien la cadera así pata pata
mueve todo lo que puedas, oh~!
sacude bien la cadera así para pata
mueve todolo que puedas, oh~!
y meneaba y meneaba así pata pata
y meneaba la cadera
y meneaba y meneaba y meneaba así pata
y meneaba la cadera

Copa Fiesta: Are You Game?

went to help out as a "facilitator" for this festival organised by nvac called "copa fiesta". quite convenient cos it's held near jurong east mrt where there is a huge open ground, very near my house.

the job scope said "facilitator". but when i went for the briefing for this event on friday i gradually found out that it was actually an Amazing Race, and that facilitators = OGLs. in fact, we had to run with them all over the island.

the in-charge looked at me as i sat there, dazed and boring and said something about "hey facilitators need to be hyped and energetic as they must run all over the island. are u sure u wanna be a facilitator?"

growl. it's near 6pm and i'm just starting to get my daily sluggishness. who knows anyway?

ok so the next day armed with street directory and bus guide i went to report at 0930. got assigned to 4 secondary school (sec 2) gals from choa chu kang (cck) sec. names: Li Yi, Priscilla, Shuqin and Chin Yee.

ok firstly i tried to engage them in conversation, "test water". after all it was my first OGL experience and i didn't know what to do.. but luckily they were quite chatty cos they were good friends. saved me alot of work.

we went to 3 charitable organisations and 3 "pit stops" - AWWA Special school somewhere in AMK-Hougang (Lor Napiri), AMK Central, Singapore School for the Deaf (Mountbatten Road), Bugis, CARE Singapore (Pasir Ris), Changi Airport T2 then back to Jurong East, in that order. took us about 7 hours, way overshot the estimated time (4-5 hrs). haha

but anyway, we got fourth in place, not a bad result since the team that came in third wasn't far away. and the gals i had were really speed demons - running all the way once we came out of public transport. We ran and ran until, yes i had to admit, i had completely lost control of them. There was one time that two of them just dashed across Mountbatten Road, three lanes wide in the forward direction, to the central divider, then three lanes across to the other side of the road.

horrible. i was so damn freaked out, and a policeman stationed nearby (there was ndp preview at national stadium) looked at me with those eyes as if to say, "hey u in-charge of these kids?"

then there was that time where we hor-laned near kallang. we were supposed to take the bus 11 at kallang bus depot but was used for ndp chartered buses, so we decided to walk to SADeaf instead, since we can't find the next bus-stop that has 11, the place was kallang which had a darn sleazy outlook, and i dun want them to be running around the place too much.

so we walked, and across this field near a construction site near the junction of Geylang Lor 4 was this grass patch. we came out of the patch and found out that all our footwear had oval-shaped seeds stuck to it, which had needles protruding out of it like a porcupine. i got pierced by one of those and i think shuqin got it too, it was painful, there seem to have been some venom inside those needles. well, lesson learnt.

yup nice experience. as i said to the gals, winning is not important - they were seemingly hell-bent on winning, even by unscruplous means (like cutting queues), the journey is more important than whether you win or not. but they rebutted me cheekily. guess they have much to learn.

and may i present the gals:

chinyee ("chilli")- the chatterbox of the team, voice is one notch above the rest, hellbent on winning
shuqin ("sq006")- sportswoman and often leader when on "run" mode (guess who's the last man)
li qi - "pri 4" gal due to her petite frame, sometimes lagging when on "run" mode. always snacking, all of them. likes to read books, even on amazing race.
priscilla - not your runner, always lagging on "run" mode. likes to seat on mrt seats with one of the other gals sitting on top of her knees.

ha. sometimes i feel like the guy in powerpuff gals - the "Professor" whos surrounded by 4 zesty gals who zip everywhere. maybe not save the world. ha.

was fun leading them around, hope to have more fun in FOW.

List of Arts GEM modules that can be taken

(in bold: those can be safely taken with enough leeway for studying)

GEK1000 - An Introduction to Literary Studies - lessons clash
GEK1001 - Place, Environment and Society - exam on 29 nov AM
GEK1002 - Intro to Jap Studies - exam on 30 nov AM
GEK1003 - Intro to Political Science - (available for Group B only) - exam on 01 Dec PM
GEK1006 - Dynamics of Personal Effectiveness - lessons clash
GEK1008 - Southeast Asia - A Changing Region - lessons clash
GEK1010 - Property Management
GEK1013 - Rethinking Tech, Orgs and People - lessons clash
GEK1014 - Understanding Emotions in Interactive Processes - lessons clash
GEK1016 - History and Theory of Modern Architecture - late wed classes, exam on 29 Nov AM
GEK1025 - Reading Visual Images - lessons clash
GEK1036 - Cross cultural communications and discourse - lessons clash
GEK1045 - Intro to World Religions - lessons clash
GEK1046 - Intro to Cultural Studies - lessons clash
GEK1047 - Organisational Power and Culture - lessons clash
GEK1050 - Space and Health - tutorial clash (no exam)
GEK1052 - Community Service and Social Action
GEK2000 - The US: from settlement to superpower
GEK2001 - Changing Landscapes of Singapore - lessons clash
GEK2002 - Art and Philosophy - lessons clash
GEK2003 - Govt and Politics of Singapore - lessons clash
GEK2005 - Introduction to Urban Planning - exam on 27 Nov PM
GEK2022 - Samurai, Geisha, Yazuka as Self or Other - exam on 25 Nov PM
GEK3001 - International Political Economy (exam 04 Dec PM)
GEM1004 - Reason and Persuasion (exam 04 Dec PM)
GEM1008 - Evaluating Academic Arguments (no exam)
GEM2005 - Film and History - lessons clash
GEM2008 - Logic - lessons clash
GEM2900 - Understanding Uncertainty and Statistical Thinking

IMH visit

yup, went to the IMH on saturday, on a "bhbh2 post-trip activity". can't believe, it's been six months since the bhbh2 crew first met. about 12+ people went, not a bad turnout.

the thing about IMH.. it's still called Woodbridge Hospital, but the whole compound is called "Woodbridge Hospital and Institute of Mental Health". Opened by Dr Tony Tan (?) in 1993 (?). It's been around for quite some time.

I've never been there before, for a consultation or otherwise. The stigma associated with that place ensures that.

first view there: its too quiet. the only people lurking around the huge compound were volunteers.

we went to the cafeteria. along the way: long, seemingly abandoned hallways without much people. it felt like a hospital, with all the lifts that could accomodate beds, signs to block 2, 3, radiology dept, pharmacy, etc... but without the crowd. without the masses of medical personnel that came here and there.

it felt so... dead. something like a ghost town.

we were ushered to the "staff room" where all the volunteers for the event (us and a contingent from nvac who were regular volunteers) were gathered. we were briefed on the event that we have to facilitate - to organise a "carnival" for the patients in ward 44a. this includes either being game ICs in charge of particular stations, or "caretakers" of the patients, which gave more interaction in the personal level.

took the lift at block 4. 4th floor. doors to ward 44a opened to a counter, a visiting area. there were 2 wards on this floor: 44a and 44b, on the left and right respectively.

frankly, at that time, i was afraid. this looked very wrong, the patients looked like they were in prison. grinning faces looked at me from windows, behind closed doors. we've heard all the worst stories about violent, irrational, crazy(?) patients.

surprisingly, when the door to ward 44a was finally opened, the patients formed a row and shook hands, one by one, with everyone who went in. some were nice old people.

i was still nervous in the next fifteen minutes that passed, trying to ignore all the stares that i got while setting up my game. but after that, everything seems ok.

you really feel for these patients after a while. being kept in this ward - probably for the rest of your life - following the endless, daily routine dictated by someone else and living in a haze of sedatives - not the best life that we'd like to have. it's true what they said in army to those fellas trying to chao keng - put someone sane in this ward, and he turns out insane.

they're just so helpless, living in this probably 50-100 square foot area, facing the same people, with their minders watching them. like jailors. condemned and abandoned by society, never to come out again.

i've also heard that some of the patients here are old folk who have no kin. abandoned. sad.

i think, the study of psychiatry is still not as developed as physical medicine. nor is the method of treatment. until then, these patients will live in a twilight existence.

Modules i wanna take in sem 3!!

Allocated:
PR2101 - Dosage Form Design I (29 Nov PM)
PR2102 - Pharmacy Law (27 Nov PM)
PR2103 - Pharmacostatistics (30 Nov Evening)

Stuff i wanna take:
GEK 1052 - Community Service and Social Action (no exam)
GEK 2000 - The US: From Settlement to Superpower (05 Dec PM)
GEM2900 - Understanding Uncertainity and Stats Thinking (04 Dec PM)
GEK1010 - Property Management (04 Dec PM)
DSC2006 - Operations Management (05 Dec AM)
FNA1002 - Financial Accounting (02 Dec AM)
MKT3402B - Consumer Behaviour (no exam)
SC2101 - Methods of Social research (08 Dec PM)

Stuff i wanna take but can't!!
GEK1006 - Dynamics of Personal Effectiveness (lessons clash)
LAB 1201 - Bahasa Indon I (exam clash)
HY 2209 - Nation-Building in Singapore (exam clash)
GEK1047 - Organisational power and culture (lessons clash)
GEM 2005 - Film and History (no exam, lessons clash)
MKT2411 - Retail Enterpreneurship (no exam, lessons clash)
MKT2401 - Asian Markets and Marketing Management (no exam, lessons clash)
MKT2412 - Global Marketing (no exam, lessons clash)
MKT2413 - Marketing Research (no exam, lessons clash)
GEK 1045 - Intro to world religions (lessons clash)
GEK1008 - Southeast Asia: A Changing Region (lessons clash)
GEK1014 - Understanding Emotions in Interactive Processes (lessons clash)
GEK1050 - Space and Health (no exam, tutorial clash! omg)
GEK2001 - Changing Landscapes of Singapore (lessons clash)

Stuff i wanna take but advised not to:
EC1301 - Principles of Economics (28 Nov PM)
SW1101E - Intro to Social Work (28 Nov Evening)
SC1101E - Making Sense of Society (27 Nov AM)
TR2201 - Entrepreneurial Marketing (30 Nov AM)
DSC2003 - Management Science (29 Nov AM)
GEK1013 - Rethinking Technology, Orgns, and People (29 Nov AM)
MNO1001 - Management and Organisation (30 Nov PM)
GEK2005 - Introduction to Urban Planning (27 Nov PM)

any more suggestions??

i'm beginning to think, is this the way great people in certain aspects stumble upon things? by doing stuff they don't like, then when they find that they've achieved something in that aspect, they smile and say "thank god i was given a chance by this @#$$# system to look at this module which generated my interest in this subject..."

think if all comes to naught, i might choose something from the South Asian Studies Programme. Might.

CFA Retreat

Got pulled to attend this retreat on behalf of EML (Electronic Music Lab), a cca under nus, as "Logistics and Tech Manager".

This retreat was held on Tuesday, 18 Jul to Wednesday, 19 Jul at the Elizabeth Hotel, a quaint little place for (mostly) ang mohs with that classy feeling. Invited are the new excos of the various CFA performing groups.

Well, i ain't no exco... especially for a cca which i have been mostly MIA all the while.. but my year there were only two of us, me and another guy, so no choice. =(

Anyway, i was "ohmygod, moretimewasted!" at the start, but then after check-in and attending all their seminar-style briefings in the seminar room at lvl 2 complete with wholesome (and numerous) teas, nice lunches and free-flow beverages, and a nice waiter service, ok maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

It felt like an orientation camp, just that it was held in a hotel. and the rules have just changed: new exco members (mostly coming yr2s, same as me) were the "campers", and the CFA people
(yes!) were the "OGLs". After being thru nvac camp, pharm camp, odac camp, this was the fourth "camp" that i had been to.

Yes, initially, the xenophobia hit again, i didn't want to mingle too much. but as we had to work together in various activities, we naturally had to mingle. made a few nice friends (or future "connections") from various ccas in CFA, as we talked of collaborating with each other.

i also met PuayKee (PK) from jazz band (previously my junior from NJCSB) and Kiang Choon (KC) from piano ensemble (previously a friend from NJC). what a small world. guess everyone likes to be called their initials now.. i'm YQ by the way, and my indian friend is MR. lol

Anyway, activities included:
icebreakers,
intro talks to CFA (brainwashing I),
marketing talks by the marcom (marketing communications) dept (brainwashing II),
leadership talks and activities (which were rather good),
interactions and whatnot.

basically, it was a good experience, i can't deny that. esp the hotel rooms, i've never stayed in a singaporean hotel room for as long as i can remember (maybe 10 years or more). brings back fond memories of when my dad used to bring the entire family to stay in hotels around the island. also the leadership talks were quite useful as well as the tapes about leadership that they showed. quite an insight, was thinking if i had watched these stuff before FOC then maybe it couldn't have screwed up so badly.

bad points are: the constant talk about getting money for CFA groups, well by CFA. the constant emphasis on marketing. essentially a good part was like mkt1003 (Principles of Marketing) revisited. why does cfa need so much money?? hmmmmmm. and if they need money, why do they bother to spend so much on about 30-40 people in such a lavish setting?? such extravagance.

hmm. it smells of a sinister plot. ha.

As much as i wanna be attached... (2)

i think:

many platonic relationships = one real relationship?

many female friends = one girlfriend?

guess this will have to do for now.

As much as i wanna be attached...

i think:

do i have the means to sustain the relationship?
can i make her happy in our interactions?
can i make myself happy in this relationship?
do i have enough resources, et. money and time, to fuel the relationship?
can i juggle work (study), this relationship, family and friends, and my leisure activities together?

where is this going to go?
one-night stand?
happily after after?
breakup after n years in the light that we're not compatitible at all?

where can this go?

sigh. i've seen a friend's breakup recently. not a very good experience to be in, it sucks. all the resources spent - wasted - could be put to much better use - in the relationship, in the end to get a soap-opera ending which both parties will learn to hate and forget, and everyone else pities.

maybe wang is right, it would be better off playing computer games and immersing yourself in endorphins of the virtual world.

but i differ.

The Essence of a Saturday

Went for my first rag dance practice (after hearing that there's cheerleading practice at 11am) at 2pm. In maroon camp t-shirt and jeans. And No. 3 shoes.

One of the freshies who were there with us exclaimed: "hey, why you wear army shoes?!" well, at least they look good. even though i hadn't had time to kiwi them yet.

the ancient art of chacha was quite an insight, after numerous showings of "huang jin nian hua" showing the "le ling" (elderly) in their grandeur dancing gracefully, i have finally picked up the skill. well, at least 6 out of 19 bars of it. it was amazing that i did it in one session. not perfect, but i can remember all the moves. chingay - no such chance.

nevertheless, it is not easy - movement is on the floor, that's where my eyes are on most of the time. very different from chingay dance. hand actions hail from ballet. it is a very graceful dance, relaxing. and it's a partner dance (but my partner is the dance ic so i suck thumb...). we need to twist your legs (particularly the feet) in various weird shapes.

haven't practised yet since i came home. nvm.

went to meet ms and nx for an outing after that. yes, my idea to "chap" (interrupt) in. went west mall.

ms and nx were late cos they were lost somewhere in amk and yck, after the bhbh2 post-trip activity at yck MINDS. it's a place for the disabled children. i would have loved to take a look, but the dance came up first.

reached West mall at 6pm. i'm so hungry, we ate at the food court. hell expensive. i had $5.00 teriyaki chicken and $1.50 chendol. saw this actor from tcs8.

walked around a bit after dinner, prowled the fourth floor to the first floor (ground floor) mainly looking at girls' stuff. ms wants something for her teaching attire, which... i am not in a position to comment.

we went to this stall outside westmall and ordered tea (mine was $0.80, but i helped pay for their stuff! omg! miser's cash is precious...) at this "authetic" coffeeshop. then i ordered this half-boiled egg and toast cos i haven't eaten one before. wanted to go watch movie but... decided against it.

tot i had time for 2b gathering, so while ms was sending nx home, i asked her to (graciously) give me a lift and drop me at jurong west ave 5. was abit shagged by then. but then...

went into 272 (278? 282?) westwood road and was greeted by walter, wang, bryan, benny, jiancheng, runxin, shuqing, huiyu, kaikiang, weiting, xiaoqi, clara, hanyi, and jiaxing, who was the host. damn, i can still remember their names. lol. it seems like the memorizing of the name list during sec 2 helped. haha.

of course, there were great memories spent with this bunch of people, some good, some bad, and now that we're all in our twenties.. it's a refreshing experience. most of them are attached, except me and wang (my "gay buddy"), bryan, jiancheng, and... that's it. didn't wanna dwelve too much into their marital status.

only two activities to be held: eat, and play. interact along the way. there wasn't much left to eat, so we played: mahjong (with real money) in the room, and big 2 in the hall. played till 2am, then we decided to leave.

was a nice gathering, partly bcos of the whisky with coke that i drunk. otherwise i'd never have opened up. but anyway. good to see these people still around. there's another outing two weeks later.

A Colonel lives near me

Saw this fella about 40-50 yrs old in No. 4 on the road. Hmm. must be an officer. Maybe a warrant-

wtf! looked up on his shoudler and saw not one, not two, but THREE freaking crabs staring back at me with clacking claws. on each side.

no, its not the security guard one. cos got "singapura" also.

wow.

he was buying food (perhaps) for i saw some plastic bags in his hand. and talking on the cell phone.

there was this guy standing near me (also in civilian dress) who was staring at the COL.

looked at his breast pocket and saw the name "M C K TAN". weird.

anyway, i saw him going into the the private housing across the road from where i live. those got walls surrounding it one, and got security guard and vehicle barrier around the entrances one.

hmm. wondering why he didn't ask his chaffeur to drive him around. wonder where was his MID vehicle.

googled his name, can't find it either. maybe he's newly promoted.

for the record, the highest i saw was a LTC (lieutanent-colonel) walking around, in NUH. probably to see a patient. not a COL. thought they have other things to do, or will have the sense to dress up differently when on civilian grounds.

well, I AM FREAKING GLAD THAT I WASN'T IN NO. 4. OR IN ARMY. like one private at the same coffeeshop which i had my duck rice, about 5 minutes ago and 5 m away from the place i saw the COL.

i would be so freaking rooted to the spot, dammit.

p.s. wouldn't it be even worse when the COL follows you home, enters the same lift and opens the door next to you? wow, so the guy who moved in yesterday is a COL! damn!

Depression

Alarmingly, more of us may be depressed than what we had thought. After reading this article, i have found that at least 90% of the people i've known have shown these symptoms.

Taken from http://www.uoregon.edu/~counsel/depression.htm

Everyone has or will experience feeling depressed in their lifetime. It is expected that at one time or another, you may feel sad or overwhelmed due to the loss of a friendship, relationship, loved one, or, seemingly for no apparent reason at all. At times, however, these feelings of sadness can become overwhelming, intense and prolonged to such an extent that daily functioning can become difficult or even impossible. When this happens, a person is described as "depressed".

Depression is a disturbance of mood characterized by varying degrees of sadness, disappointment, feelings of helplessness and an inability to experience pleasure. Depression can be quite pervasive; affecting many or all aspects of your life. In some cases, feelings can become so overwhelming that thoughts of hurting yourself or ending your life may appear to be the only option. The ability to recognize depressive symptoms and/or patterns may be helpful in warding off such severe depression and possibly keep negative events from occurring such as: loss of jobs, academic trouble, or, in more serious circumstances, attempts at hurting oneself.

Symptoms of Depression
Although each person may experience a depressive state differently, here is a list of common symptoms that many people feel when they are depressed:

Changes in feelings
crying spells of lack of emotional response (i.e. "I just feel numb")
helplessness and/or hopelessness
inability to gain pleasure, even from activities that use to feel good
loss of warm feelings toward family and friends
feeling like being alone or wanting to isolate
exaggerated sense of self blame and/or feelings of guilt
feeling worthless
loss of sexual desire

Changes in behaviors
academic and/or occupational difficulties
loss of interest in activities
isolation from important/significant people in your life
lack of energy; fatigue
irritability; complaining
being in a bad mood more often than not
indecisive, confused and unable to focus or concentrate easily overwhelmed; not able to complete everyday tasks and activitiesPhysical complaints
lethargic, always seems tired or fatigued
change in sleeping and eating habits (i.e. sleeping longer hours, waking up in the middle of the night or early in the morning, difficulty falling asleep; loss appetite or increase in appetite)
gastrointestinal difficulties (upset stomach, diarrhea)
persistent headaches

Why does someone become depressed?
There are many reasons why someone will become depressed. Common reasons (especially for college students) are: loss of a significant relationship, leaving home, academic difficulties, parental conflict, existential or future concerns ('what am I going to do when I graduate: What do I want from life? etc.), just to name a few. Other environmental and even possible chemical or biological factors may also play a role in the causation of depression. Regardless of the reason, feeling depressed is very difficult and many people who are depressed need some help in coping with their situation.

What should I do if I feel depressed?
The first thing to remember is that almost everyone feels depressed at one time or another. And, more often than not, most people return to their regular functioning at some point--you will not be depressed forever. Take time to assess why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Feeling sad or depressed in most cases, is an expected and appropriate reaction to a stressor or situation. When you lose something important in your life, it is appropriate and expected that you will feel sad and even depressed. However, when these feelings become overwhelming, too intense, last for an extensive period of time, or significantly interfere with your ability to function, it might be wise to make efforts to change your situation.

Some ideas may be to:
give yourself a break from the stressful situation and/or event
seek out the support and validation of friends and/or family, or seek out the assistance of those who may be able to change your situation
attempt to do activities that were pleasurable to you, even if that means you have to take a break from the stressful event and/or feelings
avoid making long term commitments or decisions until you are feeling clearer and more level-headed
take things day by day--attempt to accomplish small goals as opposed to trying to solve everything at once

If feelings of depression persist or worsen, it may be advisable to seek help from a friend, family member or mental health professional. Depression is a common issue that many students face, and alleviation of your symptoms is definitely possible.

Another alternative to consider is anti-depressant medication. Consulting with a psychiatrist can be helpful in deciding if medication is an option that you should consider.

How can I help someone else who may be depressed?
The most important thing to remember if you helping someone with depression is to remain supportive. Blaming the depression on the person, trying to "make" them "snap out of it" and other confrontational techniques can backfire and make the situation worse. It is important to first let the person know that you are concerned about her or him, want to help and are willing to be a resource. The way that you help may range from just listening to recommending that the person contact a mental health care provider for assistance.
Remember that in most cases, feeling depressed is common for all of us. Many people experience an alleviation of their depressive symptoms in a reasonable amount of time. If, for whatever reason, it feels like this is not occurring, there are other resources and options available.

***

I have only this to say: i have been depressed before. It was long, tough, tiring journey, which i will not elaborate.
I walked alone for so long in that long, neverending, narrow, dark tunnel with only the faint light in the end.
But I believed in the faint light, and that it exists, and so i kept walking towards it.
Depression cannot be cured by human drugs, but with love and care, and plenty of willpower.

Some words of wisdom

1. I got this from someone's nick on MSN:

we judge ourselves by our intentions;
we judge others by their actions.

2. I got this from a friend of mine who is a christian; for all the things that they say, there is a truth in some of them.

The Serenity Prayer

Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
courage to change the things i can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

3. More words of encouragement:

Nuanxin's law (aka Newton's 4th law)

Making yourselves happy or miserable requires the same amount of work.
alternatively, work = (+-) happiness

4. One more for the road, thought when on the road:

If u think that someone is inferior than you, do not despise him, instead, swop shoes with him (put yourself in his shoes).
Help him.

Stressed out

I think i haven't really gotten over that plague of criticism since i broke camp.

Now the red haze has lifted. Life goes on. I'm surprised it got so ugly.

I'll try to learn from my mistakes, that's what I can say. Now. Maybe the next time i make the same mistake, i'll say that, too.

I'll not deflect any more statements. Tired out. Back to the old adage: I can't please everyone. Maybe i can't please anyone, even myself.

Move on. Sometimes, doing something just ain't worth it.

=(

Regrets

I regret to hear, that one of my pharmaceutical friends has posted very unconstructive comments on a personal blog, regarding the nature of Pharmacy Camp, Aduro: A New Beginning.

To that person:

For a start, if my logic doesn't fail me, the comments were unsubstantiated. And they did not give any ideas on how to better the camp.

And to the suggestions that you gave regarding the pre-camp briefings and dry runs, I do not remember hearing of it during the planning process. Maybe i was ignorant. But you could, if you wanted, emphasize on it by telling me a second time. The thing was, no one gave me any feedback, as what my memory dictates.

I shall not use any of my usual vitrolic tongue in retaliation as i still value the deep friendship between us. Instead, I beseech you to reflect upon the camp again; even though it was not fun, as you have mentioned, give me reasons. I know i screwed up bad sometimes during the camp. But i guess that no one is perfect, and in fact the plans were the best that i could think off considering the pros and cons of the situation.

But that doesn't give reason to point, stare and make comments purely based on a single side of the story. Especially when the blood, tears and sweat of many that had gone into the project involved had gone virtually unnoticed.

The primary objective of the camp was to give the freshies under us a good time, and i think we've achieved that. Yes, at great cost if you would say so - there were numerous glitches, and i thank those people who worked hard to cover them up such that the show could go on. I do not deny that the plan was flawed. I shall not explain the reasons why i think that the camp was flawed; that is of no use until the planning for the next camp.

The seniors (year 3s) had labelled the camp a success, i guess they mean it was better than the previous year. Whether this is true or not, I will get feedback from the freshies myself, as a rating for this camp. I will hear it from their own mouths, whatever criticism they have for me and my plans, and i will reflect upon it.

I guess you have your freedom to express whatever thoughts you have about the camp. So do I about your thoughts.

But i hope, in lieu of our friendship, that you'll reconsider these thoughts of yours and approach the situation in a more problem-solving method. Tell me where I went wrong, give constructive criticism.

Enough for now. Your call.

Sincerest regards
Yongqiang

p.s. "to smile and to frown expends the same energy." I'd rather smile.

Aduro - A New Beginning
Day 3
Part 2

One of the tasks we had once the freshies arrived was to give them T-shirts while they were having their short r&r around. It seems like Sentosa took up too much time or something, and most of the freshies didn't have time to bathe.

Well, never mind. More time for us then.

The PF cockup: during the preparation time (Part 1) Shannon was packing the t-shirts and asked me whether to give the 3 pseudo-freshies maroon (for seniors) shirts or black (for freshies) shirts.
Thing was, from what she said when she presented to me the numbers for shirts, we seem to have a shortage of seniors' shirts (60, of which ~50 was to be taken up).

Well, that's one question you should never ask me, I don't care who dresses up as what, as long as they dress up.

If we give them maroon shirts, it means we will sound the death-knoll on their freshie status, the whole show is over, and one way to end it will be to have everyone gather before dinner, where they will come out with their nice new maroon shirts when everyone other freshie comes out in their black one.

If we give them black shirts, the PF show can still go on, even until camp breaks. But the 3 PFs will not get their maroon shirts.

Preferably, i would have preferred that they get black shirts. But anyway, the leadership in me didn't work again, and I asked jevin for advice. he said, give them maroon shirts.

ok then. 3 maroon shirts were delivered to them, which caused a huge uproar. haha. it was certainly interesting to see how the 3 PFs bluff their way out of the entire thing. i thought at that stage, the game was over. just tell the freshies.

somehow, by one way or another, the freshies didn't believe that there were PFs!!! OMG! so naive and innocent. muifong was asked: "so, do they give this to those who wanna be ogls?" lol. tiongphew made a huge fuss about receiving the wrong shirt etc. which somehow, the freshies seemed to believe it. bingxun just coolly said that the seniors gave him the wrong shirt and they took his word for it. ha. that guy really has bonded with his team.

Lol. moving over to talentime:

at about 7 pm to 7:30 pm the profs (well actually prof chui and our kind ms tan who arrived at 6:30) arrived. prof chui brought with him 2 uk students on attachment, which junice (as the emcee) often got their names wrong. lol. They mingled with the students. Prof chui and ms tan did a great job by not exposing our PFs, which took their best effort not to mingle with them for fear of being found out.

Talentime was in my opinion: OK. not a success. but passable. mainly we had junice the energizer bunny as a good emcee.

Talentime: 5/10
Song item: 4/10
Skit item: ???
Beauty pageant: 4/10

First item: song

Generally, not very well done, i had expected to showcase the "kbox singing talents" of whoever. most of them didn't require the karaoke versions (or lacking that, the originals) of the music that we had so painstakingly provided for them. The mikes didn't work sometimes, staging their own rebellions here and there. No-one used the guitar that i had brought, too. The sound system wasn't utilised to its full that day.

But generally, they were quite cooperative, belting out their songs as a whole, even placing ridiculous gigs, to the amusement of everyone.

Second item: skit

Hoped this saved the show, cos i was busily taking a break for this one, as no sound system was needed. Only possible glitch were the mikes.

Third item: beauty pageant

by this time, all the people were shack-out, and i think it might be a good idea, not to lump everything in one gala show next time. or give them too many breaks.

generally this one took about 30 minutes, a chop-chop event. it was rushing too quickly, there was no suspense at all. but no choice. it was alrady 10:30 and we planned to finish by 11.

but i think, every camp should still have one. even though, there was no SDU support for it. =(

basically we asked the 10 fellas to go to the back of the chalet ( to mute them), then asked each couple to come out, give a short intro, then junice will ask them why they chose pharmacy, and then do a catwalk. simple.

quite disappointgly, we didn't even make use of the 5 sashes that we had intended for miss personality, hotbod etc. there was simply not enough time, and the judges decided to cut it short.

sadly, the mood, which i had expected the participants to be increasingly high during the camp, did not achieve the high that i had expected. it felt like, it never rose at all.

Aduro - A New Beginning
Day 3
Part 1

Slept at 0500 last night, woke up at 1200 today.
Everyone else had left for Sentosa, except me and half the log crew (grace, shannon and sandra).
I made a check with yuantai whos out in the field. everything seems ok. seems like day 2 - again - only if things happen this time, the log team can't correct it.
Log team said that the stores were not fully taken over. I pray that everything turns out fine.

***

We ordered macs and watched tv, the girls were talking about themselves, i was watching tv.
Jevin called and asked me to prepare the stuff for Talentime. ok.
Suddenly, i feel like a grunt again. Which is not good for the camp, but good for me, cos that's what i'd like to do. What i'm trained to do. Take orders.
Not good for the camp cos there's still a heavy burden on my shoulders. But it seems to me at that moment, the burden seems to have vanished.

Log team as usual, took the extra care to buy stuff like presents ($10 vouchers at some ice cream parlour) for the final giveaway.
I told the log team to buy 24 x 1.5 L bottles of soft drinks, then increased to 30 bottles. For the chillout.
One thing i didn't realise was, we were buying soft drinks for chillout, and not bottled water when we were in phil. Soft drinks, stinging to the taste, ridiculously sweet, do not deplete as fast as bottled drinks.
The log team made jia en ferry all the bottles from clementi to here.

Went back to home, lugged half of my baggage back. Felt a bit sien. The log team was sorting out camp t-shirts to give to the freshies.
Took 29, then the mrt. Two hours of listening to the mp3 player. Not exactly the best way to facilitate a camp. Filled with thoughts of people playing merrily (i hope) in the warm sentosa sandy beaches, as supposedly planned. Somehow, the thoughts were confused with the feelings that i had in Sentosa during the Sheares Hall Exposure Camp. It was fun, i had feelings of pure fun - not those 'fun' that came up in appreciation for effort - sometimes. It was quite rare to have such moments.

The journey took 2 hours, reached home at 4:30 pm. Threw all my clothes on the floor, then loaded up the 1) bottles of alcohol - two bottles of tanduay rum (brought with much difficulty from phil) and and two bottles of Bailey's, one original, one mint, bought on the phil trip.
2) bought a guitar along for talentime, "just in case". Wanted to set off but Mum was home and saw me carrying a guitar on my back and a HUGE duffel bag (with a haversack inside the empty bag) offered to give me a lift. again. was feeling a bit annoyed but took the transport anyway, running out of time.
Stopped at Popular's to buy 3) a "Sorry" card to my SP. long story, that one.

Zoomed back to Aloha Changi, to reach there at 5:30 pm. (Would reach at least 6pm if i had taken public transport, which means i would be hell-bitched by all present and i will never forgive myself).

Bought some ice (found out later, no one used it).

Shannon told me to set up the stage for talentime. Well, ok. Carried the sound equipment all by myself, didn't have much of a choice, as the log people and f&B cell were setting up the place as well, carrying tables, chairs, placing the platters of food, etc. And i was the only guy around.

Took a table for the speakers and placed it behind the "stage" near a drain, and placed all the speakers there. Slung two extensions into chalet D, plugged in all the wires. Set. Sound test.
Shuttled between the performance area, which was in front of the chalets, and the seniors' chalet, a road away, many times, to get stuff.

Didn't have much time. 6:30 the freshies arrived by bus at their chalets. Sometimes i think we shouldn't make their lives so easy. Stepping down the bus, they were greeted by the "stage", an empty space in front of the speakers, which had Kenny G sax blasting from them, and a congregation of about 50 chairs who had mysteriously assembled in front of chalets C and D. And of course, the 5- or 6- course dinner, in front of chalets E and F, of which to whet their appetities.

Aduro, A New Beginning
Day 2
The Slugging

After FN we came back for a debrief. One of the longest we had ever had.

Basically most of the vitriol was directed towards the programmes which had not been ran to its full efficiency, or the sudden delays, the glitches, the mix-ups, etc.

It was quite saddening to hear your programmes being "operated on". People offered many solutions on how the camp should have been better, how this should have been done, what I should have not done.

I must admit, criticism is one of the things that is harder to accept for me. Especially when it comes in huge torrents, floods. And from your own people, the people working under you, the people working with you, the people working above you.

I think everyone knew i was pissed. I made no attempt to hide that. While the slugging took place all i could manage was to nod silently. "ya. ya. ya. ya. ok." I had no energy left to fight, to reason, to tell them why. Not that reason was much of a use either.

Some words made sense. Some words didn't, instead they fuelled the rage burning in myself.

Three things i have to say:

1) For those who said my plans / planning department were lousy: Why didn't you tell me before hand?
Why must you wait till that fateful day when everyone is slugging me and you add fuel to the fire?
Not that i didn't give you enough time and chances for open discussion. I believe that, I had asked so many times for feedback. None came. All my plans were uploaded on yahoo groups. No one read them.

2) For the poor execution: yup. it was shitty execution, even i didn't expect it. One problem could be communication - the wrongful encoding and decoding of instructions.
For that, its my fault - i am not a good communicator, i admit. Instructions were not passed down clearly. There are so many ideas in my head yet it's hard for me to get them out.

But then: no one reads my plans on yahoo groups. Isn't that why no one understands what i'm saying? I can quote examples.
Catch Me If You Can. Candlefight. Alternate Fright Night Activities. These were plans that you had to read beforehand in order to know what's going on. No one did.
Maybe the constant changes that we had of the proposals lead to different versions, so in the end, no one cares at all.
If no one reads the RO, is it the fault of the person who types the RO? No. it's the fault of the commander.

3) Manpower. People keep coming in and out, each with their varying schedules. People can tell me that they are not coming 1 week before the camp, and 3-4 days before the camp they can tell me they are coming. Even during the camp, i discovered additional manpower that i have, and manpower that i should have but somehow disappeared.

Yes i have no control over my men. I don't wanna control anything, i am not a leader, i just wanna make sure this camp is good, the people have fun.

Right from the start, everyone who signed up for this camp were volunteers. No one was "drafted" or "conscripted". Why can't then, they turn up for meetings regularly? Work. It is so hard to gather everyone for a single meeting, cos i know they don't give a shit about the plans online at all. Never mind, i will swallow that; in the end we had a meeting about 5 days before the camp. Attendance-wise and judging from the questions they fielded, it was shitty. I doubt that it fulfilled half its purpose.

To the MIA people - i am powerless over you. I don't wanna force anyone to come, to do things. We are friends after all, if not, classmates, and i don't wanna sound like a tyrant or a slavemaster.

It is tough enough planning for the items. I am not a manpower IC. And I am not fit to be a program IC when i can't even control my men.

Enough, my defence for that day is written in 3 points here in bold, and partly delivered by alvin. No use talking about it. I wrote it here in my quiet corner, a deliverance to myself, not another attack that will trigger off a war.

Lastly, i never intended for this camp to be successful, like the big camps, like union camp. Union camp was fun, everybody knows that. But if i could do better than last year, i will have fulfilled my objective. There are errors here and there, some that can be anticipated, some that never will be anticipated. And for those that can be anticipated, sometimes there is not enough manpower and resources to devote to it.

I believe no plan is perfect, and you can't please everyone. My target was that at least about 3 OGs out of 5 enjoyed it. And if they didn't, the OGLs were to step in and save the day with their minigames and backups.

Whatever.

The briefing ended at 3am, and everyone's eyes were bloodshot. Mood was sombre. And they still had sentosa briefing after that. I admire their spirit when they did not sleep.

I went to sleep. Yuantai very thankfully put me out of the sentosa games, for what reason i didn't want to know. Went to bed sticky and smelly, so popped over to chalet K and bathed there at 4am. Apparently xinyi heard some "stuff" later, so i thank my gods that nothing happened to me. lol. Maybe "they" didn't wanna antagonise a man who will point the middle finger at anything that inflames him.

Somehow, i feel, the living are more scary than the non-living people...

Aduro - A New Beginning
Day 2
Behind the Scenes for Fright Night

after monitoring the situation (well what can u monitor when u're not out there in the field?) for a while i decided that everything had stabilised after the logistics' treasure hunt had been carried out, and so i headed for Chalet K, location for FN.

i got xinyi and wanchee to help me bring the stuff for FN over. quite a lot of stuff, amounting to about 3 boxes' worth.

firstly we placed black cloth, trashbags, and even a collage made from magazines on the windows to block any light out and to prevent any freshies from staring inside. next we went from station to station and then set up the scene accordingly.

xinyi and wanchee were pros in taking charge of the situation, i could even stand by and not lift a finger. apparently there were people who really read my program proposals. *touched*

some things i wanted to share about fright night: according to my friend, there are 8 classes of FN/trustwalk as observed by professional companies:

1) (freshies) walk around a known area, blindfolded, form a line, put hands on the shoulders of the person in front of you, with people guiding along the way.

2) walk around a known area, blindfolded, form a line, put hands on the shoulders of the person in front of you, first person leads the way.

3) walk around a known area, blindfolded, alone

4) walk around an unknown area, not blindfolded, in a group

5) walk around an unknown area, not blindfolded, individually

6) walk around an unknown area, not blindfolded, with actors scaring them

7) walk around not blindfolded in a cemetary

8) walk around not blindfolded in a cemetary with actors.

well i guess FN falls under category 6.

anyway. we employed two things i call "psychological fear" and "shock tactics". the former was to let you "scare yourself". after all, your imagination can get the better of you when you're in a creepy place and you know that you're gonna be scared shitless. this sets up shock tactics which will scare the person shitless: shock tactics: a sudden, shocking feeling from an actor which will probably rush the adrenaline and BP of the freshie way up high.

the first part of FN was a lonely walk without actors (initally we planned for them to walk to Chalet K without help; in the end we gave them a guide - zhiwei) to the chalet, round the chalet where there were these huge hedges surrounding the chalet and no one knows what lurks within; and then into the house via the back door.

first station: wee ping as the maid. dressed in black and with a frightening white face, she got about 2 or 3 out of 14 groups breaking down here, and they had to be taken off. they were saying that she was so professional, she didn't even flinch when those guys were trying to make fun of her. even when the freshies were asking to leave and stop the game, she used that same "ghostly" tone to talk to them. very good.

second station: the living room. not much scaring from here onwards - we concentrated on "task based" objectives. basically they had to ask the family to dinner and drink some fruitade at the dining table which was spiked with centipedes (shannon's idea). then they went up.

basically, the freshies have to find their way out of the house by collecting their names of the family. gives the "addams family" thing. the first letters of the family will make up the camp name, Aduro.

third station: xinyi and yijiang. they were supposed to find her love letter or something in order to know her name. prob they can't find. so alt plan was to have them bandage yijiang who is lying motionless on the floor. when the poor fella who is bandaging is almost done yj will suddenly scream and scare her shitless. shock tactics. both of them are good, esp yj, i didn't know he can act so well.

here the freshies split up, two of them goes into one room (Group 1), and two the other room (Group 2).

4th station (Group 1): xiuting was there as the Little Girl, bouncing on the bed. she wanted the freshies to play with her and bring her 3 toys. ok.. fine but then when finding one of the toys wanqi will come out from under the cupboard and scare them.

we combined both beds so xiuting could have a double bed to jump around, and we hid wanqi under the dressing table. we put blankets with pillows over the clotheshanger to make them think that someone could be hiding there. i reckoned they will either check under the bed, which is quite hard for the person hiding there to scare them, or the clotheshanger area, since it's so conspicuous.

5th station (Group 2): the other pair of freshies will then move to the area where there is an unwed mother (originally supposed to be xuanwei but i dunno changed to who) asking the freshies to pose with the baby (a doll) , and she takes a picture of them. then while they're at it, agnes will ambush them from behind.
we placed a cupboard suspiciously facing the door to supposedly hide agnes there. there was also a dark corner which was shadowed by the cupboard, enough for a person to hide there.
think some freshies saw agnes coming out from the bed. haha. too bad.

6th station (Group 2): the pair of freshies then proceed to the toilet. there are no actors there. they are supposed to write the chinese word "kill" with lipstick on their cheeks, which was written on lipstick on the toilet sink's mirror. i thought this station is darn creepy since there is no one in this room, the actors also bloodstained the shower area with lipstick-stained tissue and etc. but apparently one freshie said that the station wasn't scary at all! cos there were no hiding places. well.

7th station (both groups): all 4 freshies will proceed to one room where they will have to find the last clue. the two huilings were here (ok, huilin and huiling) and they were creepy. haha. we placed a manikin head (from my sister) with two pillows and covered the whole thing so we made like it was a person sleeping, and xiuting came up with this excellent idea of making a person slumped against a table, with pillows and blankets, and the "head" was a ball of plastic bag.

not much of a finale, but at least it got them out of the chalet.

well. i hoped FN would be great. i think it was. and i pray that all my actors will be safe and sound.

the only complain from xinyi was the pairing up of guys. can't send pairs with two guys, two girls, she said. the two guys will talk crap and make fun of the FN actors. like there was this joker who asked xiuting what her name was (yar they are actually supposed to find out, but they are not supposed to ask), who "denise" (xinyi) was, is she her sister, etc. kills all the fun and the fear factor which was supposed to be instilled in the girls.

teams with 4 gals (at the start) fared better, i mean, they got more scared, some of them were literally scared shitless that they had to be ushered out at the first station.

FN: 9.5/10

after helping with the furnishing of Chalet K.. it was the other hurdle: the Alternate Fright Night (AFN) plans to have a headache with.

Aduro - a new beginning
Day 2

they woke up at 0700 hours, brushed their teeth, ate breakfast (which was reported to be lousy) and trooped off to changi beach at 0800 singing their songs, led by some OGLs.

we woke up at 0700 hours, brushed our teeth, ate some breakfast, then rushed off to changi beach to set up the thing for them. salute these OGLs.

I woke up at 0900 hours, brushed my teeth, ate some breakfast, lingered around in the senior's chalet, then thought of reporting to the fright night chalet at 1000 with xinyi and co.

not to be.

emergency call at around 0930 caught program and logistics off-guard. it seems that the changi games had only took up half the time, leaving about 2 hours and 30 minutes of deadly free time. i was like "huh?" when shannon and her crew were suddenly so busy rushing about.

amazingly, logistics team prepared another game, all by themselves - a treasure hunt of 25 items which i had initially planned for a wet-weather plan. And they were rushing against time to set up the items.

tensions were high, especially among the people who were going to be in the field. i was still feeling groggy.

i suggested carrying out the frisbee game immediately after the changi games, but due to the lengthy nature of the game (it will take 3 hours, which means that they will probably finish around 1:30 pm, shack, and hungry) i thought logistics' idea was a better one instead.

the treasure hunt supplemented most of the time that the changi games forfeited, and everything was suddenly back on schedule.

i don't blame anyone for this horrible glitch, if i have to blame anyone it would be myself, since the dry run for that game wasn't carried out at all. there was one parameter that we could simply modify - the distance between the stations - but we made it too short, such that the game ended too quickly. can't make it too long either - they will shack out easily as in-between stations they have to duck walk, frog leap - you get the idea. we had planned to use a good portion of changi beach to do the activities too but instead we stuck to a relatively small area.
finally, everything wasn't planned to the exact detail, which i found myself to be negligent in doing. simply said, i didn't go through the exact sequence of what a freshie will do in my head, preferring to leave it to chance.

and as for joy, the ic for this game.. her ideas were good, in fact they were quite original. but yes. we didn't test it out, and that proved to be the death blow for this game.

Changi beach games - 3/10
Impromptu treasure hunt - not in a position to comment

then they had lunch, then it was ultimate frisbee. no comment for that, it was qutie straightforward. only two responses: either the freshies like it, or they don't. for whatever reason i dunno. but i could say the planning was quite standard, by bingxun. but frankly, there wasn't much that was needed to plan too.

Ultimate frisbee - 7/10

candlefight which was carried out after UF was a disaster. originally meant to be a filler, there was almost zero preparation for this game, if there was, it was just a simple sketch, at least that's how i remember it.

about 1 week before the camp, we were still discussing the cons about having this game and deciding whether to implement it. we went on.

end result: (from feedback) the freshies saw that this game was poorly planned, or did not even have planning at all. i wasn't there to witness the carnage.

Candlefight - 0/10

sadly. if i had put in a wee bit more effort, maybe made a few more alterations and fixed who should be doing wad, instead of putting mere numbers on paper, it would be a better choice.

Aduro - A New Beginning
Day 2, Alternate Fright Night

The freshies came home at about 5pm, where we gave them a short break from 5pm-8pm. Some might think this break broke the momentum. I guess they should have some rest after a day of serious activity, running all over the place, etc.

I prepared the plans for the alternate fright night (AFN) activities from 3pm-7pm. AFN activities were directed at giving the freshies that were not in FN (at any moment, we had about 48 freshies not involved in FN, compared to 4 who are in FN).

It was, i must say, a true experiment. AFN activities included talentime planning, secret pal and a night boardwalk - instead of simply giving 6 hours to plan for talentime, which i thought was rather boring. The schedule was as follows:

8pm-10pm: Talentime planning
10pm-11:00pm: Secret Pal
10:20pm-11:20pm: Boardwalk
Fright Night ran concurrently with all these.

Since secret pal (SP) was integrated into the programme, I had to make sure that during the slot for SP, both SPs were there. No choice but to work out a schedule for FN that was labelled as rigid - i had slotted people according to batches, and the slotting could not be readily changed.

We didn't run FN OG by OG either; not fair to any OG. Instead we picked one person from each OG and formed a group. Good chance for them to interact and know each other as well.

It didn't really work out; we had some last-minute substitutions of seniors as some freshies pulled out; proved to be a headache. Some freshies wanted to change with their OG mates so that they can be together with their friends from another OG. Some wanted to go again.

But in the end.. i think it was good. SP was an idea borrowed (as i would say, cut and pasted) from Sheares Hall Exposure Camp 2005, and it was a good idea. It was an experiment here, but the campers loved it according to feedback. Talking to your SP in some unknown territory, blindfolded, for about 15-20 minutes. Fun? Thrilling? Boring? Lame?

One thing was that SP meeting, i had allocated too little time (20min - each session dragged for at least 30-40 min) and i didn't take into account travelling time. Manpower wasn't enough and decided also. I have to thank alvin for managing the Secret Pal thingy, and his wonderful crew for leading them around.

Secret Pal Meeting: 6/10

Next was boardwalk. This item was poorly planned, and not executed the way i wanted it to. The boardwalk was a collection of wooden boards near the Changi Beach where the Yacht Club was. The plan was to blindfold them (anyway they are already blindfolded from their SP meeting), lead them to the boardwalk which was about 10m away, and then let them through in single file.

Every member was to feel this string (an orange comskote) that was tied around the boardwalk and feel their way around guided by the string. The original plan was to have actors scaring them along the way, like stomping boots and people barking Japanese ("Japanese soldiers"), people saying "No! don't kill me" or something like that ("victims"). If it was executed well, i think the freshies could perhaps emphazise with that turbulent period of time about 60 years ago. The plan was to have them travel across a "time tunnel" or something back to 1942 but i was thinking that is quite lame.

Anyway, execution of plan wasn't anything like that at all. They simply led the freshies like a trust walk, along every step!!!! There was no scaring at all. Argh. I think i didn't explain quite carefully during the briefing.
It was so crowded there too, that the freshies were actually one big cluster of people walking aimlessly. Wrong place to do a boardwalk, in fact.
I don't know what the freshies think about this, some thought what the hell are these people blindfolding us and leading us here and there.

Boardwalk: 4/10

In the end, AFN took so long that FN was delayed. I didn't take into account travelling time, or that people will be walking damn slow. Neither did i plan the route from which they will travel, no holding points, or at which point, they will be blindfolded.

If i did, AFN could have been a good FN by itself. Imagine being blindfolded for 40-50 minutes and hearing voices around you - some you might not recognise.

Aduro - A New Beginning
Day 1

Met exco at 0730 hours at SP room. helped to make some final touches, then rushed off to set up audio equipment at 0800 hours at lt28/29 foyer. OGLs were already there doing some last-minute reading up.

freshies were very punctual. first person came at 0830, a sweet gal by the name of shi yun. then more and more people came, and everything started to become messy.

Registration - 5/10
Icebreakers - 5/10

Registration was very messy. By right we were supposed to do it systematically, ie check whether money was paid, give fun pack, give SP card (with the pseudonym and the hp no of the SP on it).

Music turned out to be very unnecessary. Some groups who were far away wanted louder music, whereas groups who were nearer to the speakers found it irritating. And i can't even play music during games, or forfeits as there was no time to decide and find the appropriate tracks.
The microphones turned out to be quite unnecessary too.

Sequence of events - there was considerable delay due to the painting of the banner (i had only given them 30 min, instead they took an hour). I should have taken a more proactive stance in this item, rather than throw it completely to the OGLs and Pearlyn. Event starting time was very miscommunicated; i wanted to rush them towards the briefings but the OGs were still doing stuff.

Emcee - junice didn't know what to say for some parts due to the uncertain sequence of events, but i thought she still put up a brave performance.

Icebreakers part was very impromptu; even sometimes i didn't know what was going on, nor what was going to happen next. But the OGLs more or less saved the show.

I was supposed to brief them for the talentime event as no one else knows whats going on. I found out that i don't make a very good emcee, nor can i explain things very well.

We ran into problems finding the karaoke version for some of the songs requested by the OGs for the song item.

Food Hunt - 6/10

According to feedback, i think the freshies were quite neutral to this game. It doesn't do justice to Hui Lin, who took about 2 serious weeks to plan for it.

I guess with any game that spends most of the time of travel, it would be rather boring, running even into dead space during train/bus rides. Can't blame them for this.

Was supposed to go to Old Airport Road, but then i realised that i didn't print the lyrics for the song item! what a klutz i am. so told alvin to cover for me and then sped off to tampines library, where i copied the lyrics from my laptop. BY HAND. then zapped 11 copies of it.

rushed back to the chalet around 5:30 pm. settled down a little, and checked the items for the next event - Night Game 1.

Night Game 1: Catch Me If You Can - 9/10

This is probably one of the few items in the camp that i can safely raise my head high about it.

Basically, it is a treasure-hunt-cum-catching game. Freshies get caught and get sprayed with water, flour, chilli sauce, etc.

I think the seniors had more fun than the freshies. The freshies weren't very eager on getting sprayed with the condiments, and running around for their lives.

In the end, they all got paranoid and stayed inside the safe zones. Even during times of "non-curfew", where seniors are not allowed to catch them. Haha. *shakes head*

After this, we gave them some time to settle in their chalets. I and xuanwei popped over to each chalet with our laptops and my mp3 player and we discussed how to go about the song item for talentime. some groups were quite enthusiastic about it, discussing openly (we can see through the windows) about it, with faint melodies wafting from the chalets; some just wanted to watch tv.

Went back to chalet. Had a short debrief, then slept at about 3am.

Faculty Orientation Camp (Pharmacy) 2006
Aduro: A New Beginning
Timeline (what actually happened)

Day 1
0900 - meet at Science Foyer, Icebreakers
1000 - making of banner, forging of group name
1100 - mass games, briefing for talentime, cheering competition
1200 - briefing for Food Hunt
1230 - Food Hunt commences
1930 - Teams arrive at chalet, washup, settle down in their chalets
2030 - Night Game 1
2230 - washup
2300 - preparation for talentime (song item)
0000 - sleep

Day 2
0700 - wakeup, breakfast
0800 - walk to changi beach
0830 - start of changi's beach games
1030 (?) - end of changi's beach games (prematurely). log team rushes down with newly improvised treasure hunt.
1200 - lunch
1300 - ultimate frisbee
1600 - candlefight
1700 - walk back to chalets
1730 - reach chalets, rest until 2000
2000 - start of fright night; talentime practice for those not in fright night
2200 - secret pal (first batch); fright night runs concurrently
2300 - boardwalk; fright night runs concurrently
0120 - end fright night

Day 3
0700 - wakeup, breakfast
0800 - set off for sentosa
0900 (?) - reach sentosa, disembark, briefing on games
0930 - sentosa games; lunch included
1500 (?) - assemble at siloso beach for prep on war games
1600 - war games
1700 - simple washup, come back to chalet
1830 - arrive at chalet, washup
2000 - start of talentime - song item, chingay, xuanwei's performance
2120 - start of skit items
2220 - beauty pageant
2300 - end of talentime; OTOT (chillout in chalet available)

Day 4
0900 - assemble in seniors' chalet for debrief and break camp.
1030 - break camp

Day 0 - Preparation

I think i started day 0 with turning on my laptop. Since i came back from the nvac camp, it has been like that.
Hafta meet xuanwei at 2pm in the pharm soc room to test-run the speakers.

Brought my speakers as well as some other stuff like the cowboy's hat along to pharm soc room. tried the speakers with her microphones, it worked - sometimes.

checked this, checked that.

about 5pm i suddenly realised that i haven't prepared for Secret Pal. DAMN. No logistics team to help me, guess i've to do it myself. With xw's help, we started on the 27 pairs of freshies.

Secret Pal wasn't easy. as this year we were using handphones as a means of communication, both Secret Pals cannot exist in the same OG. And with my dastardly plan of splitting the freshies up during fright night, it made the entire thing even a bigger headache.

left around 6pm and i proceeded on to IMM to get the second microphone jack converter. came back, and finished the secret pal thingy over rogue questions on msn, briefing junice, and television programs.

slept around 10pm.

Outlook until term

June 23, Friday: one more day to get everything settled for the Big Meeting and FOCC before all hell breaks loose.
Meeting with rui xiang, agenda yet unconfirmed. I think he's like G-man, yet there's something about him that holds me in awe.

June 24: Dry Run at Changi with Yuantai and... 3 others. More like a walk in the park, i hope.

June 25: Andy's Birthday Party. A secondary school friend, more like a brother. Lucky guy just got a gf who's arranging a surprise birthday party for the dude. Plan will be to keep him in the dark and teach him piano until 6:30 pm when the gf springs the trap. Then it's off to Marina for a good round of steamboat.

AH!!!! Sh*t, steamboat again. Not good for throat.

June 26: Dry Run at Sentosa. Check it out, man.

June 27: Ambush the female freshies and collect $$$ from them for pharm camp in the afternoon as they come for their medical checkup, as well as meet up with all FOCC members for the General Meeting. Important! Don't screw this up!

June 28-29: Vacation.
Either i will be taking part in nvac camp (days 3-4), or
Be resting at home, sick and in bed, as to let the #$%^%$# virus run its course.

June 30-Nov 2: thinking about going for Rotaract Club camp.... and getting more ideas.. wonder will these ideas ever surface?

Nov 3-Nov 6: The Performance.

Nov 7: Rest and Recuperation

Nov 8: Volunteering for the Singapore Heart Foundation

Nov 9: More rest

Nov 10-13: odac camp, as a logistics helper.

Nov 14-17: rest rest rest...

Nov 18-19: some function by CFA. dunno.

Dad's birthday

Still feeling quite sick due to the low immunity caused by the seizure on sunday.

Woke up at 12pm, sleep still interrupted by forced visit to the toilet last night. Sigh.

Went out at 3:30pm with Shannon, Pearlyn and Sandra from my class to buy stuff from this nice shop in Rochor. Great selection of Halloween/party stuff at affordable prices.

Broke off at 6:00pm and arranged to meet Dad at The Concourse. Nothing much there. Came back and picked the family up, then went to NUS to see xw who was in the PS room with... ahem. Sorry i caused u guys to miss dinner.

Went to this place in West Coast Recreation Centre. There are only two restaurants there, yet we picked the lousier one. Would have rather gone to Jack's Place anytime.

Yet, Dad likes Chinese food, so we went to this seafood restaurant. Large, but few customers. Ordered. Chrysanthemum tea too weak, too hot. Damm should have bought BK at Concourse, cos i'm hungry at 8:00pm and no food was served.

Was sick too. Sore throat getting worse, there's this part of my pharnyx that stings when you swallow something. Plus headache.

Well the meal was over very soon - 5 dishes - not much. Dunno why Dad likes to eat in such places where the service sucks, the food portions are small, yet they charge such excessive prices.

I will not go into Chinese restaurants unless forced to go, or someone else is footing the bill. Grunts.

You are mighty!!

guess someone must like me so much, they even devoted a website and flash to me. haha

BHB!!!

http://www.yongqiang.youaremighty.com/

The difference between a nurse and a wife

A nurse is someone who will take care of you, because its her duty to do so, bound by passion for her job, or simply because she's getting paid.

A wife is someone who will take care of you, out of true love.

"Its time for you to find a girlfriend."

Most males (well, most) of my age have probably come to this stage where they find the phrase which i have coincidentally included as a title creeping their sleeves.

Doesn't matter who said it - for me, it's my mum - but it gets on their nerves.

yeah, yeah, well i know.

The famous Cloud Strife of FF7 was not spared either. In his hometown of Nibelheim, his mother said something like that too. "Get a girlfriend that is older than you, so she can take care of you". something like that.

(right now people are still debating whether his mother was referring to Aeris, but that's another story).

yeah.

finally, i've come to that stage, the point of no return, where birthdays aren't celebrated any more, it's time to move on.

life sucks. they give u your best years when you don't appreciate it, and when you do, they take it away from you.

Vampiric Aura

Had a seizure again on 18th June, 2006.

Can't help it - have been "vampyring" - sleeping in the day and taking naps, leaving me wide awake at night - for the past week.

normal cycle is wake up in afternoon, do work, msn, etc, then get tired and sleep at 1800 to 2200. then wake up and find out that i can't sleep again... until when i hear the first mrt train rumble into Jurong East MRT station which is a stone's throw away from my house at approximately 0530 to 0600.

it's quite a common symptom, the last time i had this was during sem 2 exams. yep prob explained my shitty results. before i went for the trip to phil, i saw a doctor and he called these people "vampires", his son included. sleep in the day and wake up at night.

still fighting hard against this reversal of biological clock thingy. hope i get well by next week.

Chernobyl - No man's land

recently i was finding some stuff for Silent Hill... then i came across this category called ghost towns (cos Silent Hill is based on this person going into some ghost town), then they had a section on this person's website (i would say photoblog) on chernobyl.

her name is elena, and she's living in some russian place called kiev, in the Ukraine, where the whole thing happened. she travels around in no-man's land taking snapshots of what seemed to be the lives of those living there on that fateful day on 1986.

it was as if the whole town stopped in time - a new pompeii, as she said.

along with the site are some other interesting stuff on old Soviet history...

http://www.kiddofspeed.com/

i think for a country that we might never visit in our lives, this is some good exposure. enjoy.